In Review: A Fool's Goddess - Chapter Two

Hello there, and welcome to part two of In Review: A Fool’s Goddess, a silly project conducted by a man who likes to write too much. I’m your host, Peter Varnicrast, and today we’ll be combing through Chapter Two of my novel. I’m expecting this installment to be shorter, as I don’t need to explain as much backstory, but I’ll do my best to keep things entertaining. With that, let’s get started.

The main thing here is that this chapter is the beginning of Lior’s journey. Now that he’s no longer welcome in Idan’s workshop, it’s up to him to decide where he goes. I started this off by simply having him wander Unoph, both to help better illustrate the world the story takes place in and show the kind of life Lior had during his time with Idan. I feel it also helps show more of Lior’s foolishness, both in how he allowed Idan to rule his life and in how our protagonist behaves now that he’s free. And like any young man, the first thing he goes for is a celebratory drink, albeit his first one ever.

Before I get into the bar scene, I do want to bring attention to the inn he gets a room at, particularly its name. As a sort of inside joke that only I get (which sounds really sad when I think about it), when I include an inn, hotel, or such in a story, it’s going to be named the “Drowned Fish”, and if further details are given, it will be owned by a couple named Walter and Oyel. It’s a reference to a short story I wrote during my early days, and I love slipping it in where I can. No clue where I got the inn’s name, but Walter and Oyel are meant to be homophones with “water and oil”, so I typically have them be polar opposites.

… That’s funny, r-right?

Getting back on track, the bar scene was made to mostly bring attention to Lior’s eccentricity and how it was perceived in the town. Obviously buying a painting of a heretic goddess at a public auction and then obsessing over her wouldn’t go unnoticed, so I thought it would be best to show how it all affected Lior’s reputation. I think I made the bartender a little meaner than necessary, but she gets the job done. Lior learns that Unoph loathes him, and like the kid he is, decides he’s fine as he is and focuses on leaving.

As a side note, I’d like to mention how much I like bar scenes, though I normally prefer to make them longer than this. Something about people sitting down and chatting over a pleasant drink appeals to me. I think that inspiration comes from VA-11 Hall-A, with its wonderfully casual yet insightful dialogue. I don’t think anyone else has ever done the bar scene more justice than that game so I aspire to emulate it at times.

Now, with the inn, I was mostly just piling on the ‘you don’t belong here’ feeling while also showing how Lior reacts to the prejudice of others. I wanted him to seem like a more gentle person who prefers to persevere rather than confront. Instead of forcing his views on others, he continues to dedicate himself to Tornara and tries to ignore the trouble around him. Naive maybe, but he’s confident in his beliefs, so I felt it was only natural that he would stand by his artistic desires without letting his frustrations win out.

Of course, then we get into another conversation with Tornara. Probably a bit obnoxious that this sort of scene appears in both of the first two chapters, but he was alone with her painting in the inn room, so I decided to use the circumstances to help solidify his devotion to the Goddess. Even in the face of the repercussions, Lior stands by Tornara. He’s a bit silly about it here and maybe a little too dramatic, but as the saying goes, a little cheese makes for a finer burrito.

No one says that, by the way. I just made that up.

This scene is also what I had in mind when I requested the cover art for the novel. With Lior facing the painting with his back to the ‘camera’, I wanted to show how important Tornara was to him. It also conveniently allows readers (Viewers? Eyeball-users?) to see Tornara’s painting for themselves so they’ll have a better idea of what Lior and I are talking about. Another shout-out to the lovely Steven Elsey for the art. He was able to capture exactly what I was hoping for in just a few descriptions, something that still dazzles me.

After Lior leaves the inn, he then tries to prepare for his journey. Of course, no one wants to do business with a cursed kid, so we end up bartering with the crone. Like the bartender, I probably exaggerated her a bit much, but I had a lot of fun writing this little exchange. Lior tries to remain inoffensive as he shops while the witch tosses out cruel arguments to try and draw out the beast he was seen as. It ends with a ridiculous set of parting gifts, a nice little bow on this present of mutual loathing.

And with that, Chapter Two concludes. Originally, Chapter Two also contained everything within Chapter Three, but I broke it apart to help with flow and comfort. As such, nothing of particular note happens in this chapter beyond setting up for future events, so I apologize if it comes off as boring and dull. I promise it gets more exciting from here, especially since the next chapter introduces Chen, a character who I consider responsible for making me turn what was supposed to be a short story into a full-length novel. I’m sure I’ll have plenty to say when he shows up.

Well, I hope you enjoyed the chapter and my review on it. Honestly, I do feel like I’m learning more about my own writing style by going over my work like this, so I can only dream of it helping someone else as well. Regardless, this little project of mine is quite fun, and putting each chapter under the microscope helps keep me focused on what I liked about my first novel and what I can do to make the next one better.

And maybe if I’m lucky, someone out there will look forward to that story as well.

Thanks again for stopping by. I’ll be back next week with Chapter Three, followed by another review the week after that. Part of me feels like things are coming out too slow like this, but I also don’t want to take too much time away from my current writing. As such, I apologize if it feels too slow to you as well. Considering how I try to not spend more than an hour on each review, I could probably stand to speed things up, so we’ll see how things progress as time goes on.

Anyways, have a wonderful week, you beautiful sonuvabitch. I’m gonna keep at it and make sure my stories find their way into this world, so I hope you’re able to make your own dreams come true. May we both find our worth in this baffling existence.