A Fool's Goddess - Chapter Two
Now homeless, I decided to wander down the street and enjoy a day of freedom before I worried about the future again.
I had already considered what I would do if Master Idan kicked me out weeks ago. My basic plan was to find another sculptor to apprentice under. I’d probably look for a ride to a distant city and start over where no one would have heard of Master Idan or my expulsion. It felt solid enough, and since I hadn’t planned anything else, I’d run with it starting tomorrow.
But for today, I first sought out an inn. I ended up going with some decent little place called the Drowned Fish, located near the market street. The name was weird, but the owners were nice. I rented a room for the day, ensuring I’d have a place to keep my things and sleep later on. With that squared away, I then stepped back out to go and live a little.
I spent most of my day walking around the town. I realized that despite living here for a year, I didn’t actually know a lot about Unoph. Master Idan’s workshop had kept me constantly busy, to the point I rarely ever had opportunities to see the sights. Since I didn’t feel I would spend too much more time here, I thought my last memories of Unoph should be pleasant ones. I surveyed the rest of the market street, checking out the shops I never made time for and visited some nearby landmarks, namely a temple for the God of the Sky and a park dedicated to some hero I had never heard of.
It made me contemplate why I had let Master Idan constrict my life so much. I suppose it was mostly gratitude, but still, I almost felt like I was wandering a foreign locale. It was only through trying to share Tornara’s image that I had found this chance to finally see things, as if my drive to bring her back into the hearts of mankind was meant to end my own seclusion as well. Every step I took felt like another vindication for leaving Master Idan’s workshop.
After a time, I began to think of other new joys I could finally sample. Foremost in my mind was how I had never drank alcohol before. I was too young before and, of course, Master Idan didn’t allow it while I was his apprentice.
I couldn’t think of a better way to commemorate my recovered freedom than with my first mug of ale.
I recalled spotting a tavern while I was on the market street earlier. It seemed like as good a place as any to experience my first drink, so I decided to saunter over to the establishment. As my head filled with dreams of foamy pints, I began to whistle as I walked.
With a smirk on my face, I pushed opened the doors to the establishment. I walked up to the bar and sat on a stool. Some of the other patrons looked at me before returning to their own drinks and conversations. The large menu posted above the bar was abundant with options, but I had no idea what was good for a first-time drinker. I flagged the bartender over, hoping she could lead me in the right direction.
The bartender was busy cleaning the counter, but glanced up when I raised my hand. “One moment,” she called back. I nodded in return before pointlessly returning to the menu.
A minute or so later, she walked in front of me, arms crossed and brow furrowed.
“Can I help you?”
“Um, yes. I’ve never had a drink before and was hoping you could tell what’s good to start with.”
The bartender stared me down. “…You’re Idan’s apprentice, aren’t you? Leon or something, right?”
“Lior, ma’am. And no, I’m no longer his apprentice. It was decided that it would be best if I continued my apprenticeship elsewhere this morning.” It wasn’t technically a lie, but there was no need to share the whole truth.
“Is that so? Well, good for you. Go drink somewhere else.”
“What?” The confusion was plain on my face. “I know Master Idan forbade drinking while I was with his workshop, but that shouldn’t matter now.”
“You’re missing the point, kid. I don’t give a shit about him or his rules. Just go find another hole to drink in, alright? You’re not welcome here.”
Such blatant animosity caught me off guard. The bartender didn’t seem to be a friend of Master Idan’s, but I couldn’t imagine that being enough of a reason to refuse me business. Considering she didn’t even know my name, it was unlikely that she had held some sort of personal grudge against me either. I had never been here before or even come close to the tavern, so whatever I had done to anger her must have been recent.
“Have I done something wrong, ma’am?” I asked. “If so, I apologize, I’ve never been in a tavern before so I don’t know if I may have offended you.”
“Are you really gonna make me spell it out to you?”
Her eyes were filled with irritation, perhaps even loathing. What had I done to deserve such a hateful expression? Unfortunately, I couldn’t just accept such a spiteful look and walk away. I needed to at least try to learn the reason behind it.
“I’m sorry, but I don’t know what I’ve done wrong. If you can tell me, I promise I’ll leave right after.”
“Fine. But keep in mind I have a bouncer ready to throw your ass out if you try anything.”
I agreed with a nod. She leaned in closer and spoke with a low voice.
“I know about you and your creepy antics. How you can’t stop sculpting some demented goddess after you were cursed by her painting. Everyone in town knows that. Idan may have put up with you, but I won’t. You’re not welcome here.”
My jaw almost hit my chest. “What?! Who told you that?!”
“Get. Out.”
The bartender made it clear another word would have her make good on her threat. I backed off the counter and headed towards the exit. The other customers glanced over at me again, but now their gazes felt wary, almost hostile. I looked away and focused on the door, eager to leave the establishment.
Once I was back on the streets, I just kept walking with no destination in mind. I went up the road and around a corner, simply wanting to put distance between myself and that tavern.
I was surprised, to say the least. I was never aware that there were rumors of me being spread through Unoph. Considering how rough the bartender had spoken to me, would I have to expect the same from others? The innkeepers had been friendly enough to me, and I don’t recall ever being turned away when buying supplies for Master Idan’s workshop. But then where and when did these rumors begin?
It would likely be impossible for me to determine the true source. Master Idan didn’t seem like the sort to gossip, but he was the only one I had regularly spoken to in this town. Was it one of his clients? Did they assume I was under some spell after seeing how I’d adorn my pottery? Or had this started back at that auction, when I had publicly purchased Tornara’s painting? That seemed most likely, but surely the people of this town couldn’t be so foolish as to actually believe in curses and attribute my artistic expressions to such superstition?
I was full of passion, nothing more and nothing less. I could acknowledge that my affinity for Tornara wasn’t typical, but I wasn’t hurting anyone. I wasn’t going out of my way to try and force people to know her name and worship her or anything. I was just sharing her likeness. It was only the words of long-dead idiots that had labelled her a “heretic goddess”, and that shouldn’t have mattered anymore. I was probably the only one who knew about her or what had happened four centuries ago. Was I not supposed to be endeared by her beauty? Was she meant to be abandoned by her beloved humans after being blamed for their mistakes?
How disappointing.
“Oh well.”
I no longer had any desire to wander the streets of Unoph. Now, I just wanted to skip to tomorrow and get on the road. Without anywhere else to go, I went back to the inn.
As I stepped inside, the man at the front desk greeted me before cutting himself short. He almost seemed to turn pale. I smiled and waved to him before going straight to my room.
I unlocked the door and went in. I had my suspicions, but now I could see why the innkeeper had become afraid of me. Someone had gone into my room and unwrapped Tornara’s painting. They had thrown the cloth back over the frame, but it was far from the careful wrapping I had done earlier. I would guess that they hadn’t connected the rumors to me immediately, that it wasn’t until they thought about the painting that they suspected me of that rumored mania.
I suppose that made sense. They probably weren’t expecting the local sculptor’s apprentice to come rent a room from them. I now just had to hope they weren’t going to kick me out before tomorrow.
I sat myself on the bed. It was probably because Master Idan rarely let me go anywhere that everyone had become cautious around me. All they knew was that I was supposedly cursed, and that was enough to bar them from wanting to learn more. If I had had more chances to speak with others, they’d probably know the rumors were just hot wind.
At least no one knew Tornara’s name. As far as they knew, she was just the “heretic goddess”. It was one thing for my name to be soiled, but another if the local’s distaste for me ended up dirtying Tornara’s legacy again.
Frankly, the enmity from Unoph’s citizens wasn’t even that concerning. Afterall, I was planning to leave the town soon. It was surprising and disheartening, but as long as they didn’t try to hurt me, it wasn’t really a problem. I just had to hope someone could put aside their fears for a moment and let me buy some food tomorrow. Since I now felt there was little guarantee I’d be able to find a carriage to ride, I would need supplies in case I had to walk out of here.
As for tonight, I ended up getting my meal from the inn’s kitchen. Back when I checked in, the owners told me I could get dinner there, but I could tell they regretted that offer now. They were terribly uncomfortable around me, to the point I found myself apologizing to them. I would have liked to try and explain my situation, but as the innkeepers seemed to be on the verge of panic, I just thanked them and took my meal to my room. Hopefully being polite and innocuous would be enough for them to leave me alone until I left.
After I ate, I spent some time practicing my molding. I took out some clay I had stashed away and began to recreate the figure Master Idan had thrown into the street.
It was pretty nice to be able to sculpt Tornara without having to worry about being caught. In fact, I felt like I could be even more effective with my techniques. The additional focus let me get the general shape down faster and take greater care on the details. I wondered if this was how true artists felt, expressing themselves without any fear or consternation. Regardless, my concentration was able to reach previously unseen heights.
It didn’t even feel late enough for sleep by the time I was done. I put the figure on the bedside table to dry, then washed my hands. Sitting on the bed, I looked at my meager possessions and contemplated how else I might spend my time.
I eventually decided to reread the book on Tornara’s legacy. It still felt surreal that people had found such madness within themselves from the gentle Goddess. For the life of me, I couldn’t imagine using her as an excuse to deceive or hurt others. But perhaps that was because I had never felt even an inkling of faith before I had met Tornara. Considering how people treated someone who was rumored to have been cursed by a heretic Goddess, it would seem others were more sensitive to such matters than I.
Belief was turning out to be quite the terrifying force.
I flopped down on the mattress, resting my head on the pillow. For a few minutes, I just stared at the ceiling. Soon, my thoughts drifted to Tornara and her enamoring expression. I hopped off the bed, kneeled next to the covered painting, and pulled the cloth off.
Once again, I was graced by her wonderful smile. I couldn’t help but smile back.
“Damn… I think I really understand how you felt now,” I whispered to Tornara. I wasn’t embarrassed to speak with her, but as I didn’t want to accidentally draw attention from the innkeepers, I kept my voice low. “Seems my own reputation is far from enviable. No wonder I was drawn to you, we’re practically two peas in a pod!”
I almost laughed before catching myself. I settled on a stifled chuckle.
“I felt lonely before, but now… in a word, I feel isolated. I never thought people would spread rumors about me because I bought your painting. I’m sure you know better than anyone, but people can be really rotten, huh? But you still love them, don’t you? Hopefully I can feel the same way eventually. I’m not as strong or open-hearted as you, so this whole thing is honestly kind of depressing.”
I let out a sigh. Master had once said I was too carefree, but I wasn’t immune to the world either. I just tried not to let my troubles weigh me down. Still, there was a big difference between letting a few things slide and finding yourself unwanted in the town you spent the last year residing in. It was impossible to not be a little worried.
However, it felt rather petty to vent my complaints to Tornara. My problems were trivial compared to what she had been through. Realizing I had been frowning at her portrait, I shook my head and shined with a confident smirk.
“But don’t worry. I’m not gonna abandon you or stop sculpting your image. I’m not about to let other people decide what I can and can’t do with my life. Even if this happens again in the next town, I’ll just move on again. I’ll keep sharing your likeness with the world until people understand that you’re a wonderful Goddess.”
I pumped a fist while I grinned at Tornara’s painting. Last thing I’d want was for her think she’d be discarded again. She meant too much to me for the opinion of a few towns to matter. Everytime I gazed upon her visage, I was filled with an unquenchable enthusiasm that demanded to be shared with the world, a burning fire that lit up my heart and left my hands hungry for clay and stone.
It felt like I had found my purpose.
If such inspiration wasn’t worth fighting for, then I would very much like to know what level of passion would justify my resolve.
I carefully wrapped Tornara’s painting up once again. I planned to leave as soon as I awoke so as not to overstay my… well, I certainly couldn’t call how I felt here “welcome”. But anyways, as soon as the painting was protected, I went to bed. Although my future was uncertain, I could take comfort in knowing that Tornara was with me.
I managed to wake up before the sun had risen. Hopefully the town would be easier to deal with while there were less people on the streets. I gathered my things, taking care to pack away my now-dry figure of Tornara, and went to the lobby. No one was at the front desk, but that was fine. I left my room key with a simple thank you note on the counter, then stepped out into the morning air.
I walked back to the market street. My reasoning was that people might be less likely to turn me away first thing in the morning, improving my chances of finding a place to get some food. Most stores probably weren’t open yet, but this way, I could be the first in line for each as they became available. And if it came down to it, I would explain that I was leaving town and I could take myself and my curse elsewhere more quickly if they sold me supplies.
Unfortunately, I underestimated how soiled my reputation was. In fact, I think my experience in the tavern had made it worse.
The first three merchants I spoke with turned me down, claiming they weren’t open yet. In one case, I saw them deal with another customer before shooing me away. I pleaded and explained that I was trying to leave town, but it was obvious I would have better chances petitioning a doorknob.
I’d say Tornara’s painting hadn’t done anything. It was this town and it’s ridiculously superstitious people that had cursed me.
If things didn’t improve, I might even have to return to Master Idan’s workshop. It would be impossible for me to resume my apprenticeship, not that I would want to, but I wasn’t above begging him to pick up food for me so that I could leave Unoph. He said he wanted me out of his sight, but it would be difficult to make that happen at this rate. I could easily stomach more of his red-faced shouting if it meant getting out of here.
Thankfully, it wouldn’t come to that. An old woman had just opened up her store and I walked right in. As a nice change of pace, she greeted me cheerfully, as if I was just another customer to her.
“Come on in, young man. I just put out some fresh stock, so feel free to browse and take your time.”
“Thank you, ma’am,” I said. “I won’t be long, I just need to pick up some things for the road.”
“Ah, traveling are you?”
“Indeed. I’m hoping for a fresh start in another city.”
“I can’t say I blame you. If I was in your shoes, I’d leave too!” The old woman began to laugh, almost cackling.
I guess it was a bit much to hope that maybe the rumors hadn’t reached her. At least she wasn’t turning me away. I picked out my supplies while the shopkeeper continued speaking.
“It’s really a shame too, you seem like a decent lad. Back when you bought that painting, I could tell you were just interested in the art. But that’s what you get for not considering how sensitive folk are to heretic things!”
“Oh, were you at the auction?” The woman’s expression was unpleasant, but I played along if only to keep her friendly.
“Of course, I was the only other person who bid on that thing. I didn’t want it, mind you, I was just trying to save you from a mistake. But once you bid again, and so eagerly too, I knew it would be best to just let you figure things out for yourself.”
“So you don’t know about what this painting shows?”
“No, and I don’t care to. Don’t need you spreading your curse to me too!” She guffawed again, louder and more obnoxiously.
“That’s fine. It’s better that way. I’ve come to accept that people aren’t always going to understand. I won’t let that stop me, though.”
“Oh ho! Determination suits the damned! That’ll help shield you against all the other folk who will come to despise you.”
“They can hate me if they want. It’s not my place to tell them what to think. I’ll do things my way and they can do things theirs.”
The old woman’s eyes narrowed while she continued to smile. “You know, young man, being hurt by people doesn’t mean what you’re thinking is actually right. Being a victim doesn’t justify your actions or make you into some kind of noble martyr. It just means you’re doing something that makes others want to hurt you.”
“Good thing I don’t think of myself as a victim then.”
By then, I had finished selecting my supplies. I was more than ready to leave this store. Being turned away again would have been troublesome, but this woman’s words weren’t much better. I placed the items on the counter.
“How much for all of this?”
“Hmmm…” The old woman looked it over. “It’s free.”
“You’re joking.”
“Consider it a parting gift from this town.” She covered her mouth as she giggled.
I dropped the satchel containing my last wages on the counter. “Then here’s a gift of my own. A final farewell from a cursed fool, right?”
The old woman couldn’t contain her laughter any longer. “Kehehehe! Oh, I like you! If my husband wasn’t still alive, I’d try robbing your cradle!”
“Flattering, but I don’t think it’d work between us.”
“Oh, I’m sure! You like things more taboo, don’t you? Besides, we all know you’re in a committed relationship!”
“Thank you for your business, ma’am.”
“It was a pleasure, young man! Best of luck on the road!”
I slid the rations into my pack, slung it over my shoulder, and left the store. As soon as I closed the door, I heard the old woman erupt in laughter once again.
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