A Fool's Goddess - Chapter Three
I headed towards the edge of town in the hopes of finding a wagon or caravan I could hitch a ride from. With any luck, they wouldn’t charge too much as I only had my meager savings to rely on now. Of course, that was assuming they weren’t going to turn me away.
It wouldn’t even surprise me if one of the locals had taken it upon themselves to warn every visitor about the local kid who was obsessed with a heretic goddess.
I was able to spot a potential ride quickly, specifically a solitary man who was busy loading cargo onto his wagon. The tunic he wore had a logo printed on the back, so I wagered he worked for a freighting business. He appeared only a little older than me, but he was considerably more muscular and had a full face of auburn hair. I approached him, trying to present myself as affably as possible.
“Good morning, sir!” I greeted the man.
He looked over at me, then stood up straight. “Good morning yourself,” he replied, wiping the sweat from his brow. “You need help with something?”
“I do, but you seem to need a hand as well.” I gestured to the stacks of crates that still needed to be loaded. “If you’ll hear me out afterwards, I’d be glad to help you get your cargo squared away.
“That’s quite the kind offer. But if you’ll pardon the suspicion, I’d rather hear what you need before I agree to any assistance.”
“Fair enough. I’m an apprentice sculptor in need of a new master, so I’m looking for a ride to the next town. I can’t afford a carriage, but I’ll pay you what I have if you’ll let me sit in the back of your wagon.”
“Why not go on foot?”
“I was robbed on the highway last time I tried, and that’s one too many times for me.”
“Oof, can’t say I blame you then.” The man paused in thought for a moment. “Hmm… well, why the hell not? You don’t seem like you’re lying, and I’m pretty sure I could take you in a fight if it came down to it.”
“W-well, I have no intention of checking that myself…”
“Then I don’t think my boss would mind if we helped each other. I’ll take you up on your offer.”
My shoulders relaxed. “Thank you, I really appreciate it.”
“My pleasure. Traveling alone is too dull anyways. Name’s Chen.” He gave a friendly smile as we shook hands.
“I’m Lior.”
“Well then, Lior, shall we get started?”
With that, Chen picked up a crate and carried it over to his wagon. I placed my pack and Tornara’s portrait next to the cart before walking over to help load the cargo.
I squatted down to pick up a crate, only to discover it was far heavier than Chen’s lax attitude had let on. The damn thing probably weighed half as much as I did. However, I couldn’t back out now. As my body screamed in agony, I lifted the box and did my best to not pass out.
“So, I’m returning to my employer’s building in Dostyn,” said Chen. “Are you looking to go the full way or stop somewhere along the road?”
“Dostyn’s fine,” I panted. “Do you know… if there’s a sculptor there?”
“No clue. This stuff is for a workshop, but I believe they’re a blacksmith.” He placed his latest crate on the wagon, then turned to me with an inspired look. “But hey, the smith might know a sculptor. If you come with me to drop off the goods, they could help point you in the right direction. In fact, I’ll let you ride for free if you’ll help me unload as well!”
Considering how my arms were already threatening to fall off, the thought of doing this again was rather objectionable. Unfortunately, getting a free ride and a good lead on finding a new master was too good of an offer.
“Deal… No way… I can turn down… such generosity…”
“Thanks, Lior,” Chen said with a grin. “I think you and I will get along fine. And considering all the help you’re giving me, my arms thank you as well!”
He then let out a jolly laugh, his muscles leaving him innocent to the suffering this work brought on mere mortals. As each crate brought me one step closer to the abyss, Chen continued loading his cargo with blissful ease.
Once we were done, I took a moment to catch my breath while Chen immediately climbed onto the wagon and took hold of the horses’ reins. At my companion’s urgence, I then grabbed my things and crawled onto the wagon’s passenger seat. As soon as I was situated, Chen spurred the horses, and the wagon’s wheels began to roll.
I clutched the cloth surrounding Tornara’s painting and said a quiet thanks to her. Despite my now aching limbs, this chance meeting with Chen was exactly the bit of fortune I needed after yesterday. Finding someone to give me a ride was lucky, finding that person on my first try and getting the ride for free was beyond fortunate.
It was almost providential. Maybe I was always fated to leave Unoph. If that was the case, I was confident I’d be able to leave my fouled reputation behind.
Perhaps I can now be free of the ‘curse’ Unoph’s people had placed upon me.
As we rolled along the road, I could feel the ride was going to be an enjoyable one. Seeing the lush countryside again was nostalgic, and Chen seemed like good company. Unaffected by the loading process, he energetically began chatting as we made our way down the highway.
“Ah, I do love this job,” he said. “Half the reason I took it is because I wanted to see more of Diesor. You just can’t beat getting paid to travel!”
“What’s the other half?”
“Oh, it just pays well enough. So maybe traveling is more like nine-tenths of why I keep at it.”
“I can understand. I haven’t traveled much in my life so I wouldn’t mind seeing more of what’s outside Unoph.”
“Ah, you’re a baby bird who finally got the opportunity to leave the nest, huh?”
I laughed. “Something like that. I’m actually from Orec village, but my master in Unoph barely let me out of the workshop, saying I needed to focus on my lessons. Guess that meant I wasn’t supposed to have any kind of life either.”
“Huh, no wonder you quit the place. No way I would have put up with that.”
“I shouldn’t have put up with it as long as I had. But I was poor and starving when I came to him, so I wanted to show my gratitude and follow the rules. I can’t say I’m fond of those who bite the hands that feed them.”
Chen let out a disapproving grunt. “That’s a swell attitude, but it’s hardly grounds for living on such a short leash.”
“True. When I finally quit the workshop and wandered around town, it almost felt like I was seeing the place for the first time.”
“That’s no good, Lior. People aren’t meant to be caged up like that, maybe even more so if they’re trying to become an artist.”
“Yeah, I’ve come to realize how limited my master is as a sculptor, perhaps as a person as well. Of course, that’s why I decided to leave town and look for a new teacher.” I looked over at the fields of green spreading out on either side of the highway. “But that’s all behind me. He can’t very well stop me from seeing the rest of Diesor now.”
“Damn right. Well, if you’ve got an appetite for the world, I’ve got more than a few tales of my travels to share. We’re still some distance away from Dostyn, so there’s no point in staying silent the whole time, right?”
“I’m all ears, friend.”
“Good choice. I’ll start off by telling you about the time I went to this trading outpost way up north. You see, they had this local legend about some mysterious man living in the nearby mountains…”
True to his words, Chen easily filled the hours with various stories of the places he had seen. Hearing about an underground city or a lush oasis town in the middle of a desert left me filled with wonder, and I felt more than a bit of envy towards Chen. I tried to memorize the locations he mentioned on the off chance I’d get a chance to visit them myself.
In addition, it turned out that when Chen said we were “some distance away”, he actually meant we had about four days of traveling between us and Dostyn. He knew the highway quite well and could name every town along the way. And even as the days passed, he continued to find stories to share, though he began to speak more about rumors he’d heard rather than his own exploits. Beyond my meeting with Tornara, my own stories felt comparatively mundane, and as I wasn’t yet sure about speaking with my companion about my encounter with the goddess, I avoided the topic and stuck to my stories about Master Idan.
We stopped at several inns along the way. I couldn’t afford to pay for a room at most of them, so I often slept in the wagon instead. Chen offered to lend me some coin, but I declined. He had done me enough kindness and I had no wish to impose further. The last thing I wanted to do is paint myself as some kind of leech.
On the morning of the fourth day, Chen roused me from my sleep to let me know we were going back on the road soon. I took a moment to eat and relieve myself before I climbed back into the passenger seat.
“We should be at Dostyn before noon,” he said. “After that, just help me carry the goods to my client and we’ll be all square.”
“Of course.” I did my best to mentally prepare myself for the pain. “Thanks again for the ride, Chen.”
“It was my pleasure. I hope you’re able to find your new master.”
“Me too. But if not, I can try somewhere else. Or maybe I’ll become a wandering sculptor and carve out a legend.”
We shared a laugh, more at the awfulness of my joke than the joke itself.
“Ah, but it’d be nice if Dostyn had a workshop waiting for you. My employer’s based there, and I wouldn’t mind seeing you again.”
“The feeling is mutual. And if I can find a new master in the city, I’m sure we’ll see each other again. In fact, if they don’t already, I’ll encourage my new master to order their materials through you just to up the chances.”
“You’re a good guy, Lior. If you get tired of sculpting, come find me. I’m sure we could at least find you some work in the freighting business.”
“I’ll keep that in mind.” It was nice to have a backup option, but I’m not sure my spine would agree. “It’s just that I’ve got things I need to do that I feel I can only accomplish through my art.”
“No worries. But the offer’s always there.”
We then traveled in silence for some time. Both of us had exhausted our reserves of interesting stories, so perhaps it was only reasonable that our conversations had begun to sag. However, once we crested a hill and a city appeared on the horizon, Chen perked up again.
“Say Lior, there’s something I’ve been meaning to ask you.”
“What is it?”
“You are a sculptor, right?”
“Yes? Do I not look like one or something?”
“Well, um… “ He looked at me with a hesitant smile. “It’s just… I’ve been wondering about that painting you brought with you.”
“Oh.” I should have figured he’d ask eventually. “Right, I should explain. To put it plainly, this painting is the source of my inspiration for sculpting.” I patted the top of the frame.
“Wait, then why aren’t you a painter?”
“I had already learned how to sculpt, so I just stuck with it. It was more that the beauty of this painting filled me with a desire to express such splendor in my own works, not the concept of painting itself.”
“Ah, that makes sense. I thought perhaps I had misheard something and that you were actually a painter.”
“Sorry about that. I should have mentioned it sooner.”
“Nothing to worry about, I’m just being nosy anyways.” Chen then paused for a moment. “… So that painting means a lot to you, huh?”
“Indeed. It’s one of the few things I own in this world, and I wouldn’t trade it for anything.”
“Do you think I could see it before we parted? Honestly, I’m pretty curious to see what’s put a fire in your belly.”
My mouth opened to speak, but nothing came out. Jaw hanging like a fool, I hesitated to say a word.
I simply wasn’t sure how to answer Chen. It was the first time someone had wanted to see Tornara’s painting, but Unoph had left me fearful of his reaction. What if he had questions about her? What if learning that he had transported a so-called heretic made him disdainful of me? What if it threw him into a rage? Chen hadn’t struck me as religious or even superstitious, but neither had most of Unoph’s citizens.
His eyes watched me with eager interest, but were they just moments from burning with indignation?
My mind darted about, trying to think of a way to dodge his request. A few seconds ticked by in awkward silence before Chen spoke up again.
“I mean, you don’t have to if you don’t want to. I understand if you want to keep it to yourself. Gods know we’ve all got things that we’re not comfortable sharing with the rest of the world.”
My face tightened. “No… it’s… I’m just…”
“”You’re just”…?”
I’m just being stupid, I thought bitterly.
I realized what a dumbass I was being. I had sworn that I would continue to share Tornara with the world and let others choose how they wanted to interpret my passion. If they hated me for it, then so be it. Yet not even a week had passed before I was already faltering in my pledge. In a word, I was being a coward. I wasn’t even letting another’s judgment decide my actions; it was my fear of that judgment that compromised my determination.
How absolutely pathetic.
If I was going to fulfill my promise to Tornara, I’d have to start somewhere. Beginning with someone as kind as Chen would be taking the easy road. My stomach twisted at the possibility, but even if sharing the source of my passion with my companion resulted in his animosity, I had to be willing to take that chance, to stay true to Tornara and myself.
“Sorry, about that,” I said after another second of silence. “It’s just that no one has ever taken an interest in this painting before. It… caught me off guard.”
“Really? Damn, I guess Unoph is even more standoffish than I thought.”
“It is. But there’s more to it than that. I haven’t given you the full story about what happened to me back in Unoph and why I left my master. And it has a lot to do with this painting.”
“Oh? You didn’t do something illegal… did you?” He sounded like he was joking. Mostly.
“No, nothing like that. But I do need to ask that you listen to the whole thing before you decide to get rid of me.”
“… You know, Lior, you’re not exactly making this a comfortable experience…”
“Sorry, but recent events have left me… cautious of people. But I promise that I’ll leave without any trouble, if it comes to that.”
Chen frowned with deep thought. I watched him anxiously as I waited for his reply.
“… Well, I guess let’s hear it,” he finally said. “At the very least, it’d bug me to leave the story unfinished like this now. I’ll keep my mouth shut until you’re done.”
I sighed with relief. “Thank you. I know this is beyond strange, but I appreciate you hearing me out.”
“Don’t worry about it. Just take your time and explain everything thoroughly, alright?”
“Then I’ll start at the beginning.You see, about three months ago, a wealthy man in Unoph passed away and his possessions were auctioned off…”
I spared no detail as I fully committed myself to sharing the truth with Chen. I told him how I got Tornara’s painting and the accompanying book, and how they had changed my views on art and life. How, ever since that day, I couldn’t get her out of my mind. I talked about how I just wanted to share Tornara’s beauty, which put me at odds with my Master and apparently the whole town. Reluctantly, I even explained how people thought the painting was cursed and had driven me mad.
In some ways, it was soothing to share my troubles. But as I went on, Chen’s silence left me more concerned than ever. Once I was nearing the end of my tale, I had become terribly fearful of his response.
“… However, the book only described the crimes committed by her worshippers while nothing in her own mythos encouraged those acts. As such, I can’t help but feel Tornara’s been mislabeled. It makes me want to try and restore her name and bring her happiness again, to repay her for giving me such ardor,” I said. “That’s why I continue to sculpt her and apply her image to my work. I’m hoping that if other people can be drawn in by her beauty, they can then open their hearts to her once more.”
Chen stayed quiet as he digested everything. I know I had gotten way too passionate with my explanation, but I couldn’t stop myself. It was the first time someone had listened to me talk about Tornara. Despite my nervousness, I was exhilarated.
Chen cleared his throat, then finally said, “Well, to be honest, I can see why they think you’re crazy or cursed or whatever.”
“I know it looks that way, but it’s… well, it’s hard to truly put into words, but I feel as though this is what I was meant to do with my skills.”
“I understand. I’m not an artist, so maybe I don’t quite get it, but it sounds like you know what you’re feeling, and you’re doing what you can to support that feeling. I don’t think there’s anything really wrong with that.”
“You don’t think I’m being strange?”
“No, you’re definitely strange. But perhaps in a good way. And to a degree, I’m honestly a little envious.”
My eyebrows threatened to leap off my head with surprise. “Wh… what do you mean?”
“Well, I’ve never had anything to be that passionate about, so I’ll admit it makes me sort of jealous. I don’t have any grand goals or plans, I just work to keep myself fed and comfortable. So when I see you all fired up about your Goddess, it makes me feel like there’s more I should be doing. It’s actually a bit irritating, but I’ll get over it.” He smirked at me.
I didn’t know what to say. I never expected that response. To not only be spoken to respectfully and without insult, but to be envied? This was so far flung from my last day in Unoph, it almost felt like the setup to a prank.
There weren’t words deep enough to express my joy.
Tornara really was watching out for me. My heart swelled with gratitude. To put me on the path that would lead to meeting Chen, was this a reward for my dedication to her? How else could I feel but blessed?
“Thank you,” I managed to say through my tightening throat. “I’d forgotten how nice it was to have someone take me seriously when I spoke. I was prepared to be ridiculed again.”
“That’s a shame. But it’s not really my style to mock people, especially not friends.”
“You’re too kind.” I grinned. “… I’m glad to have made a friend like you, Chen.”
“Likewise, Lior. Tell you what, even if our work doesn’t have us cross paths again, let’s go get a drink sometime. It’s been a while since I had an excuse to binge, and my gut tells me you’d be a fun one to get plastered with.”
“Sure, I like the sound of that! But I should warn you, I’ve never had a drink in my life.”
“What?!” Chen cried out. He seemed far more baffled by my sobriety than anything I had said about Tornara or curses.
“It’s true. I tried to have my first drink the day before I left town, but the bartender turned me away.”
“Oh Gods, you really were cursed! We need to break the spell as soon as we can!”
“You know a way?”
“Indeed! There’s a wise sage that lives at the bottom of a bottle. We’ll have to see if we can find him first chance we get!”
I started laughing and Chen soon joined in. Like a pair of fools, we raucously guffawed as our wagon moseyed down the road.
I filled the remainder of our time with stories of Master Idan’s abrasive reactions to my attempts at sharing Tornara in my art. My new friend was quite fond of my impersonation of the old master, and soon he was doing his own rendition. Chen would look at me sternly and say “Lior” in a deep, condescending tone anytime I said anything slightly questionable, resulting in new fit of laughter.
We would pass through the gates of Dostyn with idiotic grins on our faces. The guardsmen looked at us with mild suspicion, but merely shook their heads and let us pass.
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