In Review: A Fool's Goddess - Chapter Eight

Hello and welcome to part eight of my In Review series. Today’s chapter is pretty short and does most of the talking for itself, but I’ll do what I can to shed more light on what went through my head as I typed it out.

No migraine today, thank God.

I’ll open this time by pointing out the gag that bridges this chapter and the previous one. I doubt it was too subtle, but I loved including that discrepancy between how much Lior actually drank and the amount he tells Malka. It’s mostly proof of how Lior somewhat fears Malka and her reactions to his less-than-sober nights out, but I thought it was best to include a bit of humor before the heavy shit.

These opening bits—along with how the chapter ends—also help illustrate Malka’s odd sleeping habits. It’s obviously a bit strange that she insists on chiseling through the night (and a miracle that her spouse and the neighbors put up with it), but I’m sure my fellow night owls can agree that the time of day doesn’t matter to the ambitious mind—three in the morning is a great time to create if you’re not sleepy.

However, I certainly wouldn’t have had the patience to deal with a sudden visitor at such an hour, no matter how close I might be to them. If you’ve gotta interrupt me after midnight, someone better be bleeding.

And with that done, now let’s talk about how much of a freak Lior is.

I’m not afraid to call my own character such a thing, nor am I ashamed to admit his bizarre actions are born from feelings I once held. While that’s not something I’ll ever proudly declare, I don’t think there’s any value in denying the less pleasant sides of myself.

If you’ll allow me a small tangent, I’d like to say it’s fine to not present your undesirable aspects to the public world, but remember that those aspects are still a part of you. So, in the quiet of privacy, please take the time to embrace those sides—to love every part of yourself. Don’t abandon your imperfections. Don’t leave them in the dark to suffer.

I mean, imagine how terrible it must feel to be a part of something that loathes you.

Anyways, Carl Jung or the Persona game series can do a much better job going into details about the battle between conscious and subconscious than I can. Let’s get back to the chapter.

Specifically speaking, Lior’s sentiments towards his divine obsession come from flawed emotions I have experienced. I’ve since matured past such unpleasant feelings (or at least that’s what I tell myself), but they still happened once upon a time.

In my younger days, I had difficulty reconciling the pressure I felt from family to get in a relationship, start a family, and all that jazz. I’ve never been the most romantically-inclined guy, so the stress of feeling like I was failing at something I thought I was supposed to do spawned a certain bitterness within me.

It wasn’t until a few years ago that I figured out that I didn’t even want a relationship. Stupid really, but I’m sure I’m not the only person out there who’s been told all their life that they need to find a partner, only to realize that that’s not for them. Maybe that comes off as the weak excuse of an unattractive man, but hey, I’m not here to tell you what to think; I’m just giving some explanation behind the ideas I expressed in my novel.

For what it’s worth, I’m happy now. The cool kids have even coined a new term for eternal bachelors and bachelorettes as “self-partnered”, but that’s just a different coat of paint to me. Regardless, I used those memories of my bitterness to help shape Lior and his fixation on Tornara.

And thus we have our lovable little creep, complaining and crying to a painting in the middle of the night, forced to embody the more disgusting sides of his writer.

How cruel.

Frankly, there’s not much more I’d like to say about Lior’s ramblings in the storage room. I’m probably already revealing too much, but I do love to say more than what’s necessary. I feel that the chapter speaks enough for itself on Lior’s inner thoughts and motivations, so I’d rather leave its interpretation up to you.

Is Lior a lunatic and a freak? Or is he just another example of the shadows that lurk in the human heart? Perhaps you feel that he’s pitiable, terrifying, or even enviable.

I think this chapter allows a lot of differing views to all remain equally true. Those who have felt a similarly unusual affection may be able to sympathize with Lior’s struggle, but I don’t think it’s wrong to just label him an aberrant and call it a day. Like every other part of life, personal experience and context determines your viewpoint. So long as you don’t use that view as an excuse to incite hatred or pain, I don’t think any perception is necessarily invalid.

I wonder how you perceived Lior’s strange actions, my beloved reader.

I think I’ll end things here. I put a note down to talk about outlines, but I’m really in the know-it-all mood right now. Besides, a shorter In Review is nice every now and again, right? We’re almost at some important chapters anyways, so I’m sure I’ll explode with tangents and lectures with those reviews.

That’s all for Chapter Eight. Please look forward to more chapters and more reviews. I’ll keep chipping away at my next novel, so please strive to achieve your dreams as well.

Unless your dream is to make ketchup-flavored cake. Please do not do that.

Until next time.