In Review: A Fool's Goddess - Chapter One

As this is the first “In Review” I’m doing, I’ll lay out the basic concept here. Ideally, I am going to share my thoughts on each chapter/story. I don’t have any set idea of what sort of content that may be as I’d like to share whatever comes to my mind. I’ll of course try to keep it as relevant as possible, but don’t be surprised if you see a personal story or two laid out here. Still, it should mostly focus on the characters and scenes within the chapter, and this first one will be a little extra beefy to accommodate some general backstory as well.

Honestly, I’m rather excited to carry out this… series, I suppose, as it should help me grow as a writer. Anybody who’s tried to get serious about fighting games knows that one of the best ways to improve is to watch your own matches and see what you did wrong. In a similar spirit, I hope that combing through my chapters will help me realize ways I can improve.

As a precaution, I also want to state that the “SPOILERS” warning isn’t just for what happens in Chapter One; I will allude to future scenes. I will avoid major plot points, but if you want an absolutely pure experience of future chapters, I recommend backing out now.

Now, with all that said and done, let’s get started, shall we?

With all of my stories, I start with a planning technique I would later learn was called “backwards script-writing”, essentially a process where I conceive a scene and then work backwards to build into it instead of creating characters and a world and seeing how they naturally develop. A fantastic GDC talk by Creative Director Yoko Taro explains the idea in much better than I can.

For A Fool’s Goddess, I envisioned a quiet scene where a sculptor was creating images of a Goddess only he knows. This would later also become the inspiration for the cover art, and instead of a single moment, I let that scene appear multiple times in the novel. Although Lior doesn’t sculpt Tornara in a privacy during Chapter One, it still shows his first time alone with her. I had him speak to her portrait to better express his fascination, an idea which then became a trend for those quiet moments. I rather enjoyed writing those scenes as well, as it both helps show the depth of Lior’s emotions while simultaneously presenting him as a bit off or perhaps creepy.

It’s not very apparent in Chapter One, but later on, the novel becomes very dialogue heavy. I’ve always enjoyed writing dialogue and character interactions in my stories, though I would say my conversations never felt particularly engaging to me until after I read a few entries in the Monogatari series by Nisioisin. Nisioisin is a master of dialogue, often to the point of ridiculousness. Considering how Nekomonogatari (Black) spends it’s first eighty pages on a single conversation (an absurdity Nisioisin points out himself) but still remains wonderfully interesting, I spent quite a while studying his techniques in the hopes of emulating him.

As such, I felt I was able to finally realize my desires for more dialogue heavy stories that (hopefully) don’t bore readers to death. Combine that with the sharp advice from Stephen King through his memoir, On Writing, and I became confident enough in my Frankenstein’d style to just let it run loose and form a novel. There are of course a myriad of other creators out there who have influenced me, but it would take too long to list them all here without returning to that risk of boring readers to death.

The inspiration for A Fool’s Goddess stems from a rather pathetic side of myself, namely the times I’ve felt such great affection for a fictional character that I would say it has at least bordered on love. I decided I would like to use that as the basic premise for a story. I felt that combining that feeling with the worship of a deity would help make it easier for more readers to digest, as writing about a girl who falls in love with a guy who leads in a book might come off as manic or hit too close to home for those who have experienced those same feelings I have.

Funny how we humans work. I’m somewhat ashamed of those feelings, yet I still wrote an entire book to share them. Weird.

Moving on, I picked the Greco-Roman setting to better fit the polytheistic themes. A modern age simply wouldn’t work, and there wasn’t sufficient technological developments in human history beforehand for me to want to go further into the past. Considering that sculpture and art were also booming during those days, it felt appropriate for the story. I sometimes wish I went with more details to clarify the era the story takes place in, but as it wasn’t a focal point to the story, I’ll live with being ambiguous.

Now, as for Lior himself, I didn’t envision much for him. I wanted him to be young and easily influenced, perhaps a bit naive. I feel he’s rather basic as far as protagonists go, with his most defining trait being his fixation on Tornara. My original concepts didn’t have him as haughty or sarcastic, but I added those traits as I went along to help him feel young and likable. He was always meant to anger his master, get kicked out of the workshop, and such, but he was originally more of a milquetoast about it.

There isn’t anyone in particular who I based him on. He has a few traits from me, but is mostly his own man. He’s far more expressive and social than me, and especially more loquacious. However, he and I share an obsessive side, a desire for creative expression, and a joy in sharing that creativity (which won’t be shown until later in the novel). I suppose Lior can be thought of as a mixture of my brother and myself, as I see him as a personable fellow who’s really quite odd. Lior, not my brother, mind you.

Finally, as a fun fact, Lior’s name means “light for me” in Hebrew and began the trend of most of the characters’ names originating from Hebrew. He has no official surname, as I think he’d go by “Lior of Orec” for his full name.

Master Idan isn’t much more than a plot device. He’s noticeably underdeveloped and isn’t very important overall. He’s pretty much meant to sort of ‘justify’ Lior’s conviction. Nothing quite motivates the young and foolish like being told they’re wrong, so Idan provides that, gives Lior a reason to leave Unoph, and exits the stage. As one might expect, he’s not really based on a person, but more of a concept. His name means “era” in Hebrew.

Ironically, Tornara is much more of a character than Idan, despite how she is shown only as a myth and a painting. There’s a lot I could say about her, so bear with me if I go a little nuts here.

Her appearance was meant to evoke classical mythology along with more modern character design. In a statement I can be reasonably doubted on, she coincidentally resembles Aqua from Konosuba, albeit as a more reliable Goddess. I started reading Konosuba midway through my fourth draft of A Fool’s Goddess, and I ended up changing some of the wording of Tornara’s description to better distinguish her. I was completely flustered when I saw Natsume Akatsuki also described Aqua’s hair as “translucent”, hence why I said Tornara’s was “lustrous” and “crystalline”. A petty difference, really, but I felt like a fraud when I saw the similarities. I apologize to Mr. Akatsuki and any of his fans who feel I have ripped him off. I can only plead it was a coincidence and hope the changes I made were sufficient.

Tornara is mainly meant to inspire feelings of dusk, twilight, and the sea, which I was probably too obvious with. The afterlife is often associated with sunsets and the end of a day so I felt it was fitting. More specifically, I wanted her to evoke the image of a calm ocean as the sun sets. Most of her outfit is blue and gold to feel elegant and divine, but her eyes are green to mirror the Green Flash phenomena that can occur at dusk on the sea.

She also represents the afterlife to help explain the tragedy that befalls her in the past. Humans are notorious for going mad over their beliefs, so the Goddess who rules over the realm that would house a human’s eternal soul would likely inspire some strong reactions in her believers. It also felt appropriate to have her fulfill a more unique role in the pantheon, as the other gods rule over land, sea, sky, day, and night. As such, she comes off as distinct from the get-go and helps illustrate her separation.

Tornaran Madness isn’t taken from any specific event in human history and is more of an amalgamation of mankind’s reactions to religious fervor. The smaller myths described in the journal are based on real myths such as Orpheus, while the story of Tornara’s creation was styled after Greek mythology. Her name is a mutation of “tornare”, the Italian word for “to return”. I chose that name to signify the concept of returning to the gods’ side after death, a common desire for the spiritually inclined.

… Her name might also reference a favorite video game of mine, though I would certainly never be so blatant as that. No, sir.

Another fun fact: all of the other gods’ names are also Italian, but mutated in a different way. I’d call myself lazy for their names, but as they weren’t important to the story, I didn’t want to spend too much time thinking them up. A rule of thumb is that the amount of work put into a concept should match its importance, or so I’m told at least. I apologize it my technique here was too slothful, however.

I went with explaining Tornara’s lore through the ancient journal to help give a stronger sense of separation between her and the world at large. With how worship for her was outlawed four hundred years ago, it also explains why no one else seems to know about her anymore and why she was simply known as a “heretic goddess”. I personally don’t think even the most thorough of crusades could annihilate a deity from history, but it’s important to remember that reality should bend around your story, not the other way around. As long as you’re suggesting something not completely outlandish within the context of your tale, it is generally acceptable to allow some peculiarity in. Or at least that’s how I’ve always felt.

Finally, I’d like to go over the general structure of Chapter One. I normally have a hard time opening stories, but I actually found this intro to be relatively satisfactory from the start. It didn’t undergo any major revisions beyond including the message from the ancient scholar out of a desire to show that Lior wasn’t alone in his feelings towards Tornara. Taken along with how Lior’s simple history is thrown in, it’s apparent I was following the old adage regarding backstory: get it out of the way as fast as possible. As such, Chapter One ends up as mostly an info dump to establish the setting and get readers up to speed on what’s happening.

I conclude the chapter with Lior getting kicked out to set the stage for future events and leave the situation filled with uncertainty. He’s young and now homeless, so let’s see where he goes. I very much liked ending it with Master Idan passing Lior his final wages and with Lior saying his farewell to the door. I feel like it shows that, despite their ultimate disagreements, they both still had a level of respect for one another. Idan still appreciated Lior enough to send him off with what he had earned while Lior didn’t want to part so bitterly. In that sense, their parting is almost sad.

As one last fun fact, I’d like to say that I don’t think Idan was a bad guy. He was strict and even violent, sure, but when you look at his behavior, he was decently benevolent. He took in a stranger, taught him a craft, and tried to correct Lior’s behavior instead of tossing him the moment he became troublesome.

So why was Idan framed as an asshole? Because that’s how Lior saw him. And as he was the narrator, that becomes the truth presented to you, the reader.

Just like how history is written, really.

… Well, this has gotten much larger than originally intended. Back when I rediscovered my love for writing, I realized I have a bad habit of just going on and on. Maybe that’s a good thing for a writer, but it also results in these sort of droning observational pieces. I’ll do my best to keep Chapter Two’s review more concise. Considering there aren’t any major characters introduced there, it shouldn’t be a problem. I’ll probably focus more on structure and writing style there.

Alrighty then, this has been In Review: A Fool’s Goddess - Chapter One. I hope you enjoyed it, and I’ll see you next time for Chapter Two. Be there or be squarely assured that I understand life has many obligations for us all and that I cannot reasonably expect you to prioritize the ramblings of an amateur over the other aspects of your unique situation.

But it’s gonna be cool. Just sayin’…