In Review: A Fool's Goddess - Chapter Twenty-Three
Jiminy fucking Christ… The day has finally arrived. My light novel, Demon Healer Naberius, is out in the world and I couldn’t be happier. Lotta hard work, lotta fun—all flavored with hours of lost sleep. I’ve been resting the past few days, but between an increasing workload at my day job and my present stomach ache from leftover Chinese food, but I’m not quite back up to speed yet. Still, the thought of my novel making someone out there happy gives me all the energy I need.
As you might expect, I’m not diving into the chapter right away. Mostly because I’d like to talk about some ideas that have been on my mind since I released DHN, but also because I keep finding fewer and fewer concepts in the chapters that I haven’t already touched on. Part of me thinks I should just skimp on these articles in general if I don’t have much to say, but then again, I enjoy using these ‘reviews’ as a means of airing out my thoughts.
So, if you’ll pardon my misuse again, let’s discuss my dream situation: the ouroboros of kindness.
There’s probably a better term for it, and maybe it can just be summed up as “symbiosis”, but the ouroboros of kindness is basically my ideal relationship to have with any other person. It’s that sort of situation where you’ll do something nice for someone without expecting anything in return, then they’ll do the same for you, ad infinitum. It’s not a complicated bond—it’s fairly natural if anything—and many people get into those kinds of relationships without any sort of intent.
However, the problem is that it requires trust and a level of selflessness. If you don’t trust the other person, you might grow to fear that your relationship is becoming one-sided or that you’re being used. And without selflessness, you can get stuck in a transactory mindset where you weigh the value of your kindness against their reciprocation, ultimately souring the purpose of the ouroboros. So, in my opinion, the relationship works best when you adore the other person enough that you don’t even think about it as them “repaying” you so much as those acts of kindness just being the nature of your bond.
Really, I’m probably just describing love here, but you can of course feel this sort of way with anyone. Maybe it’s just about you and a coworker taking turns treating each other to lunch—shit like that. My point is that I think it feels great to have someone in your life that you can have this sort of back and forth without any sense of ulterior motives or repayment.
As for me, I get my rocks off just making others happy, so a compliment is typically all I need to feel like doing something nice for someone again. Probably because I was so starved for positive reinforcement in my childhood (boo-hoo, poor Peter), though I’d like to say I’m not completely foolish about it—I’m too narcissistic at this point in my life to hang solely on the kind words of others. Still, I get a lot of joy out of making others happy, so maybe my dream of finding myself in an ouroboros isn’t impossible.
I think I just gotta get better at trusting people first…
Anyway, that’s the main thing I’ve had on my mind. Getting to release Demon Healer Naberius practically made my brain explode with endorphins, so it’s my wish that the people who helped me along the way had some fun too. And if that all culminates in making someone else smile, then I’m as happy as a clam.
As for the chapter, 23 is kind of a mixed bag. The story finally gets some real progression, but there’s also a fat chunk of explanation again. As I’ve droned on enough about pacing and structure lately, I’ll touch on the humor aspect of this chapter.
I had a lot of fun just messing around here. I firmly believe that every story at its core just needs to be entertaining and that the best way to do so is to start by entertaining yourself. Whether that’s with some witty jokes, hype action scenes, or teary drama, as long as you can get that reaction out of yourself, there’s a decent chance you can inspire those feelings in someone else. I didn’t write A Fool’s Goddess with any strict views on comedy or drama (I just wrote it as I went along), but I can say I’m happy with how some of these jokes turned out.
To be frank, I don’t like pure drama and seriousness. Without moments of levity, I can’t appreciate the darker scenes in a tale, so I like to at least sprinkle in some jokes in my own work. Usually it’s in the form of lighthearted moments, though Demon Healer Naberius was written with humor at the forefront. Here in Chapter 23, I went with simple, dumb jokes, so let’s go over the best examples.
Though please bear in mind the old saying, “Explaining a joke is like dissecting a frog: you understand it a lot more, but it dies in the process”. These jokes probably won’t be funny by the time I’m done with them, so fair warning.
The first would be the interaction between Lior and Libi, where our sculpting master badmouths his first apprentice before running around with his third. It’s a very childish, dad joke, but I liked using it here to reinforce Lior and Libi’s relationship. Up to that point, Libi felt a little too mature, so I wanted to have her laugh and smile like a kid. Simultaneously, it shows Lior as the goofball I wanted him to be—topping things off with his realization that he might be the reason behind Hed’s dumb behavior.
Like most things in a story, your humored scenes should be used to better illustrate your characters. Readers naturally remember things better if they made them smile, so moments like this can be great for showing your cast’s softer sides—which can be especially powerful when later contrasted by your drama.
We get our second example shortly after. It’s just that bit where Lior says he loves Niv before getting flatly rejected. It’s quick, biting, and flavored with the coldness of antihumor. Though Niv was already sufficiently painted as a stern guy, having him take what is obviously an empty admittance of love so seriously tickles me. I wish I had elaborated on Lior’s reaction a bit more cleanly, but again, this moment makes it clear to readers that Niv is Mr. No-Nonsense.
Lastly, there’s the paragraphs in the backstory sequence about Lior not understanding what an explosives expert was going to do to his mountain.
(As a quick aside, I’m pretty sure explosive mining wasn’t used in the Greco-Roman era, but after putting that second-story toilet in Master Malka’s workshop, I was already beyond fucking up my timeline.)
This example is different in that it uses description instead of dialogue. I’d say it’s akin to the visual humor you can find in movies, games, manga, etc, and the timing is a lot more important for this kind of joke. My wording for this section is subpar, but if I had just started off with “I had no idea the explosives expert was going to blow up my mountain!”, it wouldn’t hit half as well. I once heard that comedy is the act of subverting expectations, so by first establishing Lior’s confidence in the explosives before revealing he’s actually an uneducated dumbass, you get to laugh at the image of him gaping at the explosion he paid for.
This sort of humor can also be more difficult because it relies more heavily on your descriptive writing and the reader’s imagination. If you can’t adequately explain the scene and it’s circumstances, it’s gonna fall flat. How can I possibly laugh at your bit about a guy sitting in a truck that’s sinking into a waterway? As far as I can tell, the man is committing suicide, not trying to Ford the river. You need to establish that the man is an idiot who takes things too literally first—and in a manner that feels concise—if you want that pun to actually be enjoyable.
…Yeah, anyone who tells you humor is easy is a fucking liar. I mean, we’re not even getting into genuinely witty territory and I already feel like I’m pressing the limits of my funnybone. I have no idea how comedians can make hours of material that’s worth listening to.
But that’s why I try to be a writer. I can be funny now, serious then, and stupid in between—all while going at my own pace. It’s basically cheating.
Alright, some stray notes before I wrap things up. I liked showing Lior’s confidence in his work near the end of this chapter, I still see more than a few of my old writing problems, and I kinda wish I gave Niv more screentime here. He gets plenty next chapter, but eh.
All in all, I’d give 23 three stars.
And that’s all I got. I’m about forty hours into Xenoblade Chronicles: Definitive Edition now because I’ve basically given up on current fighting games. The ones I want to play have shitty netcode and the ones with good netcode aren’t fun for me. And since Demon’s Souls just got a remake announcement, I’m beginning to wonder if I’m just cursed to be an RPG fan forever.
If so, that’s okay. There are worse fates after all.
Take care, dear reader. I’m gonna rest another day or two, but then you better believe I’ll be at the writing game again. I’ve got a short story in mind right now, but who knows what the future holds. Maybe I’ll have something more exciting in a month or two… Ehehe…
Umbasa.
