In Review: A Fool's Goddess - Chapter Eighteen
How’s it going, kings and queens? I hope you’re doing your best to stay happy and healthy these days. Ol’ COVID-19 is still out there causing a ruckus, and now it’s raining cats and dogs here in California. Looks like the world’s conspiring to keep us all indoors lately, huh?
I’ve been furloughed as well, so I’ve already gotten my fill of all my usual hobbies. My boss wants to get me back on the docket within a month, but until then, I guess I’ll use this impromptu vacation to improve in writing and fighting…games.
But I’ll cut myself short before I burn time talking about Granblue Versus again. I feel like I haven’t been giving my chapters decent perusals lately, so I’m gonna try and change that this time. Get yourself a warm beverage and relax—Varnicrast is blathering once again.
Following the minuscule chapter that detailed Lior’s dream, this one is comparatively hefty. We start off with Lior trying to make sense of what he saw and some conversation between with Tornara before he heads out into the world. But, rather than just skim over this section, let’s talk about dreams.
I find dreams to be a rather interesting concept. My grandfather tells me he doesn’t remember ever really having any, but I seem to have vivid ones regularly. Most of them are nonsensical, though a few have stuck out to me. I had one just a few nights ago about being in my grandparents’ home as their city was being bombed, only to end it with turning to my mother and saying, “I feel bad for you because I’m going to wake up and be safe from all of this.”
Pretty fucked up when I think about it. I wonder if that statement came about through some confluence of my dreaming and waking minds, and it presented me with a new anxiety that the worlds I see in my dreams are real, but I’m just a passing visitor who can freely leave them as soon as trouble arises.
Not too different from writing stories, really.
I can also recall some strange dream where my dog, Clementine, ran out of my home and I combed the county in search of her. I eventually found her at a chateau after borrowing someone’s raised pickup truck, but then I got home and found out someone had recorded the whole ordeal and posted the video online as “Clementine’s Continuing Quest for Tacos”.
Which is fair: she’s never had a taco, at least not to my knowledge. But why on earth I’d drive a raised truck when I find my SUV too unwieldy is beyond me.
And I’m sure I’ve had many more dreams that I’ve forgotten. Like most people, my brain can instinctively tell the difference between actual memories and the illusions seen in a dream. It then discards the information as soon as possible, knowing it has no value in the real world. I try to write the more interesting ones down if I can, but it’s like the concepts begin falling apart the moment I’m awake.
(As an aside, this is the point I realized I could have gone over my own dreams in the last review to try and pad it out better. Sorry about that.)
As for Lior, his vision of Tornara was too important to forget entirely, but it was also damned by its very nature as a dream. I wanted to capture that sort of ephemerality, or maybe flimsiness, and leave Lior feeling incomplete. He knows there was more to that dream, but it evades him. However, rather than let it go and hope for later fulfillment, he accepts the flawed message and swears to uphold a promise he can’t even remember.
Ah, I do love half-witted loyalty…
We then get the return of Hed and more attempts from me to mimic Nisioisin’s skill for banter. Since it’s now been a year since I wrote A Fool’s Goddess, I think I tried too hard to copy him in that sense. Though I feel that the humor here is timed decently and well-suited to my characters’ personalities, it doesn’t quite feel ‘me’ at this point.
Not that I’m implying that’s a bad thing—students should start by copying their teachers. It’s just that I can now see the difference between my mimicry and when I was writing more original thoughts. Embarrassing to my modern eyes, but I accept who I was back then.
And I can’t deny that I still find this section enjoyable—aside from the typos and other errors. I suppose that shows my idols are quite skilled: their techniques shine even when mindlessly aped by a novice.
Afterwards, the boys do a bit surveying, leading to Lior finally recalling what was missing in his dream. Probably too perfect, but I think someone once said that drama oftentimes survives on happenstance and circumstance. Though I like to use the harshness of reality at times, it just wouldn’t be interesting if the story continued with Lior thinking, “man, I sure do I hope I remember what I promised Tornara soon!” If I didn’t do it sooner, then I was eventually going to have to force the revelation upon the sculptor, possibly leading to less-desirable dramatic timing.
But, as it is, this gives the story a pleasing layer of mysticism. By having Lior and Hed happen upon what appears to be the cliff Lior promised in his dream, it lends a sense of prophecy and purpose. It feels like Tornara set Lior on this path, and he, as her faithful adherent, was able to realize the significance of the mountain and recall the vow he made to his Goddess.
This is then immediately challenged by Hed’s more grounded views. As a lovably sharp child, he calls out the difficulties in Lior’s plans—which the sculptor promptly ignores. Like a fool, he sees only the one way forward and blinds himself to the reality of the situation. Noble in some sense, stupid in others, and very human overall.
Finally and frankly, I don’t know why I ended on that bit about Hed’s whistling. I feel like there might have been some significance to that, butif there was, it’s too esoteric for me to understand now. Maybe Varnipast was trying to play up Hed’s detachment in a reasonable way? I don’t know—either I was too clever for myself or I was just fucking around.
Good stuff. I’m gonna say I’m happy with how this review turned out. Unless you count the descriptions of my dreams, I think I managed to avoid tangents and write a genuine elaboration on a chapter. Probably won’t ever happen again, but I’ll take this little win.
Okay, that’s all the time I’ve got. I gotta get back to playing Animal Crossing: New Horizons on my Nintendo Switch.
Not really—it’s almost midnight for me right now. But the game is pretty fun, though I wish my fishing rods wouldn’t stop fucking breaking. Definitely perfect for chilling while on furlough.
Aight, I’m actually closing out now. Stay safe, and let’s hope our world can return to normal soon.
May the good blood guide your way.
