In Review: A Fool's Goddess - Chapter Twenty-Four
Hey, how’s it going? Life good and all that? I hope so. I’m dandy as a vampire right now and ready to dive into this chapter. I just wrapped up Xenoblade Chronicles: DE in its entirety so I’ve got some dope new tunes to listen to as we dissect Chapter Twenty-Four here. And—for probably the first time in months—I’m gonna get started on the chapter right away. No tangents, no anecdotes, just cutting straight to the writing talk.
No, I’m not dying. At least I don’t think I am. Who knows these days.
Chapter Twenty-Four is a bit of an anomaly compared to the rest of book, solely because it wasn’t added until after my third (or fourth?) draft. Initially, Chapter Twenty-Three ended with Lior spotting Asa and moving to intercept him, but at some point I decided the plot was moving too fast and wanted to spend more time with the apprentices and help establish their characters.
Hindsight and experience has now taught me that I had plenty of chaff in earlier chapters to cut down to improve the pacing, but c’est la vie. My naivete felt assured that the backstory in prior scenes could not be condensed any further, so instead we get a whole chapter dedicated to the Hed and Niv being pissy babies.
However, I would still say I very much like this chapter. Perhaps because of its nature as a late addition, it feels much more self-contained and complete than other sections of the novel—not to mention that its focus on character interactions tickles a part of me that has become more prominent in my writing style. In some sense, the chapter almost comes off as a filler episode (which isn’t terribly inaccurate), but it’s also my bumbling first step in discovering the exact sorts of scenes I want to write, giving it a special shine that I still appreciate.
Just one of my one hundred ways to not make a light bulb, huh?
So, the chapter revolves around Hed and Niv’s pseudo-rivalry. I always had it in my mind that those two would be nipping at one another, but I didn’t have any bits that really illustrated that before I added 24. The chapter quickly escalates into an argument and sore feelings before concluding with a surprisingly mature resolution, giving sufficient opportunities to show how the cast reacts to certain situations.
For example, Niv’s comments show that he isn’t invulnerable to taunts and insults. While he presents himself with professionalism, he’s still a human being. Likewise, Hed’s quiet return to work and newfound drive tell us that he’s grown enough to admit when he’s crossed a line but still has the pride to see such mistakes as ways to improve himself. We also have Lior playing referee and Libi reinforcing her status as the fragile girl, though those aren’t exactly headlines in this chapter.
There’s also this line slipped in there: “Peaks and valleys, highs and lows, pick your battles, not your nose.” That’s a long-shot reference to Kid Icarus: Uprising (God, I wish they’d make a sequel), just to clarify.
Frankly, I still like most of the dialogue here, particularly Lior and Hed’s discussion. There’s a lot of good stuff in there, with my favorites being Hed plainly stating that he went home because he couldn’t go anywhere else in the rainstorm and Lior ending things with that endearing little tease. It might not be an exaggeration to say I think this chapter is actually the best part of the novel, though it obviously wouldn’t work without the surrounding sections. I could absolutely improve upon it now, but as far as my old work goes, I’d give 24 here a solid B-.
Yay filler, I guess.
As far as themes go, ‘pride’ is probably a decent one to touch on. On that note, I had a recent situation at my day job where a customer neglected to get their documents served ahead of time (if I haven’t mentioned it, I work in litigation) so a member of my company’s customer support team kept emailing me to get updates on the service, work with our server to make sufficient attempts at service in two days, and remind the customer that it is extremely fucking illegal to have our server lie in order to get people served.
Per my job description, I shouldn’t have helped out after the initial confirmation that our server was going to make additional same-day attempts, but I ended sticking with it as I had become established as our server’s point of contact. But since my normal job is swamped, I was putting in the minimal effort to make things happen so I really should have passed it on. And because of our company’s current response to COVID-19 leaving me unable to work even a second of overtime, I had to clock out in the middle of a discussion and leave things hanging for the next day.
Suffice it to say, I was half-assing the situation.
And yet, after the whole shebang was resolved, that customer support rep tagged me on an email they sent to my managers citing all the assistance I provided and the wonderful effort I put in to get things done.
…I was not happy to see that.
Like Hed, it made me upset to face the fact that I was not trying my hardest at something. I fully expected to get no thanks for my ‘help’ in getting that case wrapped up, so to instead get praised for such shitty work left me frustrated with myself. I shouldn’t get compliments for sandbagging.
I know that sounds pretty stupid, but I guess I don’t like being told my weakest efforts are worth anything. If my bosses are gonna get told I’m great, shouldn’t it be after a hard-fought experience that took special consideration and tested the limits of skills? When someone puts in a good word for me for doing something so…boneless, it feels like I didn’t earn it.
Not to mention it makes me worried about what kind of experiences my coworker’s gone through to make my minimum seem so impressive…
Anyway, that’s not to say I’m some sort of “if you’re not first, you’re last” dickhead. Getting second place means you’re still really fucking good, just not at your peak yet. I just want to be recognized for my best efforts, not my worst.
To bring it back to the novel, while Hed’s feelings on the matter come from another place, he expresses a side of my own sensibilities. While considered a sin, pride is a powerful motivator. Humans have fought wars over wounded pride and a loathing for humiliation, so really, it shouldn’t be any surprise that lots of people get up and do their thing just to stroke their own egos. Hed has all the pride a young man should have, but rather than use it as a reason for hatred, he turns that anger into fuel for improvement.
Jesus, I wish I’d thought like that when I was nineteen.
(As a quick aside, I apologize for the anecdote. I meant to focus on the chapter, but looking over the dialogue reminded me of that recent event. I did my best to keep it relevant, but that doesn’t change what it is.)
Okay, as for how this chapter ends, it’s pretty basic. As previously stated, 24’s ending used to be the closer for 23, so it’s probably painfully obvious why it ends with Lior on his mountain again. I actually don’t think someone would be able to single out Asa’s traits at that distance, so I hope you’ll forgive me for using a bit of cinema magic. Lior is then flung into a rage and heads off to do some bloody sculpting, leaving things on a more violent note.
We’ll see how it goes next week.
And that’s it for me. With Xenoblade out of the way, I suddenly find myself with a ton of free time. I’m not sure if I want to dive into a smaller game or go back to playing fighting games (if only to work on building my dexterity), but either way, I plan to keep writing alongside it. I recently pumped out a 10,000 word short story in a week to warm myself back up, but I think I’m ready to outline and write another novel—maybe even one starring a certain demon and her scylla friend.
Look forward to it.
Hugs and kisses, my dear reader. I’ll catch you around the bend.
