In Review: A Fool's Goddess - Chapter Nineteen

Hello all.

The quarantine continues, but as indifferent as ever, life goes on. I myself am doing quite well, all things considered, and have not been greatly impacted. In fact, my employer put me on furlough three weeks ago, only to call me last Wednesday about how they need me back. Guess they finally figured out that receiving half as many orders doesn’t justify a 90% reduction in workman hours.

Just as I was really starting to enjoy my vacation too…

Anyways, I’ve got a couple personal things I’d like to toss out here before getting into the chapter. Biggest one on my mind is the progress I’ve made on my next novel. I mentioned a couple months ago that it was completed and placed on cooldown—a month where I completely ignore it so as to mentally detach myself. I stole the process from Stephen King’s On Writing, and it’s basically just ignoring your own work for a length of time so that you can perceive it more objectively.

Once that was over, I began the redrafting phase. I’m currently working on the third draft and plan to do at least two more, though I feel like I’ll take a small break between the third and fourth drafts. Probably a good idea for avoiding burnout too, since I might need a few days to warm up to my day job again.

More importantly, however, is that I’ve been able to commission an amazing artist for the novel’s cover. My dear friend Steven has been busy with his own projects, so rather than impose on him again, I contacted a few artists I adore and managed to snag a commission with one of them. I’m not quite ready to reveal who they are yet, but suffice it to say, I’m excited to see the final product. They’ve also been very kind and punctual with their communication, which has done wonders for the stress I’d normally get when asking someone for help.

And with that smooth segue, I have an announcement to make: Peter Varnicrast has given up on his sobriety and become a huge pothead.

…Not really, of course. I just meant that I’ve been taking CBD caplets after hearing they’re a good way to reduce anxiety. I’ll confirm that’s true, at least for me, as I feel like my mind can let go of stress more easily. Every gaffe I make doesn’t gnaw at me for hours or possibly days, and I feel calmer when interacting with strangers. There’s no hallucinogens in the pills either, so they just chill me out without any real side effects—beyond my burps tasting like weed sometimes, I guess.

Now, why did I wait until I was 27 to experiment with this kind of shit? Short answer: familial trauma.

I can’t remember if I’ve mentioned it here, but to summarize, my father was not a good person. His life was defined by his alcoholism and drug abuse, which naturally led to him committing other unpleasant acts. I’m not in the mood to go over everything he’s ever done, but between what he did to me and what I saw him do to others, I promised myself I would never become like him.

Thus, I put myself under a vow of sobriety like some kind of 1600s priest.

In hindsight, it was utter nonsense. Just because my father was a dumb asshole didn’t mean I would necessarily make the same mistakes, but I also understand how I felt back then. I was terrified of becoming the same sort of person he was, so I put as many walls between him and I as I could. It worked, I suppose, but who can say what I lost in the process.

But, in recent months, I’ve dropped that vow. I still don’t drink, but now just because I don’t want to. I sampled beer purely so I could understand the flavor (a bit of information I needed for authenticity in my next novel), but the idea of getting buzzed or drunk doesn’t appeal to me. Add on the fact that alcohol isn’t cheap and I’d rather just stick the bad habits I already have.

Still, freeing myself from that restriction makes me feel like I’ve grown as a person. I’m now confident that I’ll never be someone like my father—at least to the point that I’ll let myself taste beer and take wimpy pot pills so my adrenaline doesn’t spike from ordering a pizza.

Baby steps, yeah?

Ah, I’m exceptionally tangential today. But now, let me throw you a curve ball and actually begin talking about the chapter.

Chapter Nineteen centers on the conversation between Lior and Tzofiya, discussing the sculptor’s future in Tresety and his dream of carving the moutainside. The story content within is pretty self-explanatory, as it starts off with Lior describing his dream to Tzofiya before they arrange a new deal, but I felt this chapter brings to attention some things I’ve learned through writing my latest novel.

Again, my apologies if I’m repeating myself, but my next novel is by definition a light novel. It’s about 56,000 words (last I checked, at least) and focuses on comedy and more episodic storytelling. I went for this format because I wanted to work on my levity and my brevity, and boy did it make me learn about both.

Obviously, writing comedy is not easy and there is no surefire guide to it, so I’ve got that covered by just trying to write lines that make me laugh. My logic is that if I find it funny, there’s a chance it could make someone else chuckle, though it also just makes writing the whole thing really enjoyable.

The more pertinent aspect is how a light novel needs to be faster paced and more concise. With half the word count of your average traditional novel, you can’t just spend a page embellishing just how beautiful your heroine’s eyes are. Sure, her irises might be “bottomless pools of azure that sparkle like stars in the surface of a still, midnight ocean”, but unless it’s absolutely necessary for you get into that level of detail, you’re better off going with “deep blue eyes” and moving on with the story.

Now, I bring this up because Chapter Nineteen has some unneeded restatement that is shaky in a traditional novel and unforgivable in a light novel. I’m mostly talking about Lior explaining his dream to Tzofiya and her request that he repeat himself before the conversation goes off into fresh threads. If my estimations are correct, that bit takes up an entire page. Not completely sinful, but with my current experience, I would probably have cut that down to two paragraphs at most.

The biggest problem is having Lior explicitly retell his dream in dialogue. There just isn’t much of a reason for that—the reader was there for the actual dream and has already heard Lior reexplain it to Hed. Saying it again is just rude and unnecessary, but the fact that I then have Lior describe how he’s re-reexplaining it to Tzofiya is borderline cruel.

But again, it’s only a misdemeanor for a traditional novel. Longer tales pride themselves on heavy detail and elaboration, so while my efforts here are misguided and painfully naive, they are not worthy of imprisonment. This section could stand to be cleaned up, but such plain-faced restatement is not impermissible in a 100K+ word novel.

But may God have mercy on your soul if you try to pull that shit in a shorter piece.

In studying light novels, the one thing I noticed is that they are generally always moving. Traditional novels may come to a spot and relax a bit, maybe spend some time going over irrelevent backstory or describing architectural nuances. It’s fine for them to dawdle so long as it’s for fleshing out the larger world and will ultimately circle back to the central plot.

Light novels, however, have got shit to do. They are a modern adaptation of writing to better suit busy lifestyles or short attention spans, so they come off as more ‘active’. They rarely keep the story in one place, and when they do, it’s usually to set up for the next episode. It’s like the goals are established and met in rapid succession, ensuring that the reader is never bored or wondering.

In addition, descriptions for people, places, or things are as concise as possible and never brought up again unless it’s necessary to the plot. Characters lean more heavily into schticks and tropes to make sure they consistently recognizable, and story arcs are more self-contained. Some may argue light novels are simpler as a result, but after studying them, I’d say it’s more like they’re efficient.

I’d also say they’re a bit more unforgiving for those with weaker memories. As many light novels tend to be multi-volume series, they seem to be written with the expectation that you’ve read every prior entry. Most traditional novels I’ve read are willing to remind readers of past events, likely because they can spare the space, so they can be taken more individually. Of course, reading The Hobbit before The Fellowship of the Ring will answer some questions, but not knowing about Bifur, Bofur, and Bombur won’t make Frodo’s journey any less comprehensive.

So, to bring it all back, describing Lior’s dream multiple times would have been a terrible act if his story wasn’t told through a traditional novel, hopefully granting mercy upon this wannabe writer. And in redrafting my latest novel, I’ve noticed how often I’ve had to cut out restatements that just aren’t necessary. It’s made me very aware of the art of semantic repetition and the trust a reader and a writer must share in order to keep the story both concise and understandable.

It is my hope to bring this newfound knowledge on brevity to my next full-length novel and make it as trim as it should be. And maybe, if time allows it, I can do the same for A Fool’s Goddess one day. Lord knows how badly I’d like repaint it with my current abilities—and do something about that fucking second-floor bathroom in Malka’s house.

Aaaand that’s all I’ve got to talk about. This chapter marks the end of what I guess is Part 2 of the story, leading into the third and final act. You’d better believe we’re about to have another timeskip—and that I’m going to bitch endlessly about it in the next review.

Look forward to it.

Well, I guess I’ll go back to playing video games. I’m now playing Final Fantasy 7 Remake since I burned myself out on Animal Crossing already (though it also doesn’t help that it just feels like New Leaf with item durability). I actually bought Monster Hunter World as well because I thought my furlough was going to last longer—and because I’m currently having a spat with GBVS—but I haven’t touched it yet. Maybe I’ll change that.

Alright, take care, my precious reader. Drink your orange juice and play your vidya, and I’ll see you again next week.

Let’s mosey.