In Review: A Fool's Goddess - Chapter Fourteen
Greetings, all you lovely people. It’s another Sunday, or Saturday afternoon if you want focus on when I’m writing this. Either way, I hope your weekend’s going swell and that you have some fun stuff lined up today.
I’d like to start off by apologizing for my less-than-positive words in the last In Review. I know I made it clear I was pretty pissed when I wrote that, but in hindsight, I feel I was a bit too…edgy? My language itself was rather gruff, but there’s also how I showcased that week’s topics. While I do genuinely find the way humans react under duress to be intriguing, I think the way I presented that idea came off a little too callous.
So, again, sorry about that. I’m feeling significantly better this time and plan to save my work as I go along, so you can expect a salt-free experience.
On that note, let’s get into it, shall we?
This chapter gets into the meat of its content pretty damn fast. A little reminder of where Lior’s at, then we begin a long-ass conversation with Hed.
God, I love that little shit.
I feel like this is the part of the novel where I really tried to emulate Nisioisin’s skill for banter. I can’t remember where in the Monogatari series I was back then, but I can recall finding myself absolutely enraptured by that man’s talent for witty dialogue. I’m obviously nowhere near his level, but I hope you were able to enjoy my fledgling attempt at mirroring him.
Most notably, I can see how I didn’t write in attributives at the normal five line or so interval I typically strive for. Not to say that it didn’t work here—the conversation is only between two characters and the language differences between them make it easy to tell who’s speaking, especially with Hed’s insistence at calling Lior “Mr. Preacher”. Very indicative of my idolization of Mr. Oisin.
Of course, the frequency of attributives is often a matter of taste. Some people prefer getting a regular reminder of who’s speaking (myself included), though I will argue that definitely should not attribute every single line of your dialogue. Nisioisin is quite good at working without attributives for pages on end, and I think the only time I ever read something of his and grew confused over who was speaking was in one of his earlier Zaregoto novels, which could very well have been caused by the translation.
Not to say that Nisioisin is infallible, of course—but you feel me, right?
As for Hed’s character, he can be summed up with “smartass”. He’s weirdly intelligent and has a foul mouth, making him a true joy to write as Lior’s foil. He enjoys needling people, toys with those who underestimate him for being a child, and actively encourages the use of his name for insults. But he’s still got all the best qualities of youth, namely curiosity and naivete, the latter of which is quickly examined.
Conveniently, this chapter also allows me to bring up the perception of human emotion from an outside standpoint again. Hed coldly explains the death of his father and cuts off Lior before the sculptor can offer any condolences. Lior counters by suggesting a different outlook to Hed, and the two come to a pleasant understanding.
Honestly, I probably should have saved the discussion on observing human emotion for this week. It would have been more fitting and left me feeling less like I need to restate my own humanity. While writing drama requires a level of appreciation for the less palatable human emotions, I hope someone will knock the shit out of me if I start talking like that after an actual traumatic event.
I am still human after all.
Anyways, we then get some setup for Hed’s interest in sculpting before he departs. Lior then goes out to see about finding pottery supplies, moving from a huge segment of dialogue into thick paragraphs of description.
I can’t say for how this comes off to others, but I personally enjoy my description work. More so on the internal or metaphysical, but I think I did a decent job of relaying where Lior was and what he was doing. I, like many writers, typically switch to this when the story just needs to move forward. While I can spend whole chapters on scenes that probably didn’t last more than an hour or two in ‘real time’, sometimes you’ve just gotta cram several days of narrative into a couple paragraphs.
This is another segment where I’m still terrified of the thought of an actual sculptor reading it and telling me how wrong it all was. Again, I did a fair amount of research, but I suppose going through college still leaves me afraid of relying on information I found online. As such, I tried to skim down on the details, if only to give myself an out when I’m discovered for the fraud I am.
B-but I really do know that seashells can be used in cement! That’s a fact!
Basically, this chapter was mostly used to prepare for future events. We have a fine idea of what’s coming next: Lior has acquired sculpting supplies and now we’ve got some bratty kid who wants to see what being a sculptor is all about. A bit of a jump from the encounters with zealots and flights through the woods of just a few chapters ago, but hey, you can’t maintain that kind of suspense without killing its meaning.
Writing is not that different from the visual arts or music. Just like how you need negative space and silence, so too do you need bland information and calm moments. Don’t think of them as empty spaces—think of them as contrasting pieces that will ultimately strengthen your high points and the story as a whole.
…Man, I can almost convince myself when I talk like that.
Finally, we conclude this chapter on probably the pinnacle of my writing career. The setup, reply, and execution of that “rock bottom” joke… I fear I will never reach such heights again. It’s so wonderfully idiotic—I feel as though all my modern attempts at humor are but a pale imitation.
Oh, Varnicrast of the past, tell me your secrets!
So, that’s about all I got this week. I think I’ll have plenty to say on the creative process next review, so I hope you’re okay with a more basic article this time. As promised, I had nothing but good vibes through writing this, due in no small part to saving regularly. You’d think a life of playing absurdly long RPGs would have taught me that, but some things can only be learned after giving yourself a headache with anger.
Okay, let’s wrap it up. Have a good week, brush your teeth, and make sure to wear black socks with your black shoes.
Ciao, amico.
