A Fool's Goddess - Chapter Twenty-Six
“Good evening,” Asa said nonchalantly.
My hand twitched for the chisel on my belt. I barely managed to restrain it, instead settling on just casting a hateful expression back at the bastard before me.
He frowned. “Damn. I guess it was too much to hope that you didn’t remember me. I suppose I did leave quite the impression on you, or at least on your head. And even though you’ve changed a bit, I remember you too, Master Lior.”
Of all the times, of all the streets, why was this one currently empty? It was as if fate wanted to give us this chance to meet, free of distractions. It made holding myself back more difficult than it should have been.
“Why are you here?” I demanded. I balled my fists, digging my nails into my palms.
“Personal business.”
“Cut the bullshit, why the fuck are you here?!”
“I didn’t come here because of you, if that’s what you’re wondering.”
“Then leave. Now.”
“Or what? You’ll kill me?”
It took everything I had not to take him up on that offer. In just the past hour, I was possessed with violent desires, then talked back down to rationality, only to have that calmness immediately challenged. In a word, it was unfair. No, it was cruel.
“If you really care for the truth, I came here to see my cousin,” said Asa. “You see, after the fall of the Heralds of the Divine, it’s been rather difficult for me to find a home. I was hoping for a new start here, but it seems that won’t be the case.”
“Damn right it won’t. I’ve already informed the mayor of who you are and what you’ve done. She knows you’re here and that you’re a danger to everyone.”
“Well, that’s rather unsporting of you.”
“You’re the last person who should argue for fairness. You killed my friends and set Master’s studio on fire, all because you thought the Gods spoke to you!”
“”Thought”?” He sounded genuinely offended. “No, Lior, they did speak to us. They knew you were trying to revive some heretic Goddess. We were sent to stop you before you brought calamity down on Dostyn.”
“Bullshit! I heard you shouting in front of the studio. You claimed we were followers of the Ventilian faith, you even told the crowd outside that we were still alive. Your words are nothing but hot wind.”
“Of course that’s what I told them. They were too naive to realize what you were doing. But with whispers of war floating around, we simply grouped you with the other heretics we were judging that day.”
The way this man talked about such horrible things was disgusting, like it was all a matter of fact. Lying and killing were part and parcel to his views. But worse yet was how he had convinced himself he was acting on behalf of the Gods.
I shook my head with disbelief. “The way you think you can act like a mouthpiece for the Gods is sickening, but to spread lies under their names is unforgivable.”
“What about you? How long are you planning to act like you can hear this… Tornara?”
My vision went red with rage and I involuntarily took a step forward. For a second, I lost all control of myself.
I barely managed to remember my words to Tzofiya.
“… Don’t you ever speak her name again.”
“Oh my. Seems I touched a nerve.”
“I’ll take your other eye if you try it.”
Asa immediately lost his smirk and stared at me, his own anger plain. It seems his composure wasn’t infallible either.
“You had better watch yourself as well. I’m already a wanted man, so I have no problem killing some halfwit.”
“Then why don’t you off yourself?”
“Funny.”
“Enough,” I growled. “I’m going to let the guards know you were here.”
“Now, now, why the rush? Once you step away, I’m going to find some place to hide. Why don’t we use this opportunity to get to know each other? I think we both have a lot things we’d like to say to one another.”
“The last thing I’d want is to know a piece of shit like you.”
“Oh? But I’ve wanted to hear more about your Goddess ever since my days in Dostyn. The other residents shared some interesting tidbits, to say the least.”
I stopped and faced him again. “I told you not to-”
“I heard you, I’m not going to say her name,” he glared. “But I’ve got questions for a heretic like you.”
“What makes you think I’m would tell you anything?”
“You will. Heretics love to talk about their false gods. If you pay attention, maybe you can learn something from this exchange as well. Besides, I’m not going anywhere yet. Let’s enjoy our evening together.”
I absolutely didn’t want to talk to Asa any longer than necessary. It was unlikely I’d be able to silently wait him out either, as he’d probably dart the moment someone else came by. My best bet was to prolong this conversation and hope he slipped up and dropped some information I could use. Of course, that depended on whether or not he was actually planning to attack me at some point.
“I don’t know what you’re hoping for, but I’m going to do everything in my power to ensure you end up in a cell,” I said. “Though, someone who willingly desecrates the legacy of the Gods deserves worse.”
“Your level of delusion is incredible. When I heard someone was carving the image of a God into a cliffside here, I was eager to meet such a devout soul. Imagine my disappointment when I learned it was you, still spreading that heathen Goddess.”
“Couldn’t have been worse than the disappointment your parents felt raising you.”
“Were you always such a smartass? Or did that blow to the head ruin your manners? Fools like you are the hardest to speak with. Too idiotic to think on a deeper level, too focused on their heretical beliefs to see the truth.”
“And why would I want to make our conversation easy?”
“Look, I’m just trying to figure out why you believe in a Goddess that never existed.”
He wasn’t saying her name, but he was trying everything else he could to piss me off. Delaying him was proving harder and harder on my patience.
“You see,” Asa continued, “I asked around Dostyn after things had calmed down. Some of your clients were apparently fans of your so-called Goddess, enough that they asked you to share her history with them. They told me that every record of her existence is in your hands, and that it only amounts to a single book and a painting.”
“Because madmen like you soiled her name centuries ago. They committed brutal acts, convincing themselves that’s what she wanted, only to get her expunged from the pantheon. The only reason her legacy survived at all is because an old historian realized that her name shouldn’t be erased.”
“And what makes you think any of that is true?”
“What?”
“How do you know any of that actually happened?”
“It’s written in the book!”
“There are no other records of your Goddess’ existence, isn’t it possible that whoever wrote that book just made her up? They simply created an interesting fable and tried to pass it off as history. Perhaps they even concocted it when they saw that painting, deciding some artist’s work needed a story behind it. They told a lie and you eagerly gobbled it up, convincing yourself it was the truth.”
I should have silenced him, leapt at him, or done something. Those words were as wretched as the man uttering them, another foul attack from a foul bastard. Rather than strike me physically, he wanted to break me by questioning Tornara’s legitimacy.
But in that awful, unforgivable moment, I considered the possibility.
Everywhere I had gone, no one else had heard even the faintest whisper of Tornara’s name. Not even the shaman, an expert in all things spiritual, knew she existed before I told him. The people of Unoph only feared her because the painting was described as showing a “heretic Goddess”, easily preying on their superstitions. If there truly had been a purge of every record of Tornara’s existence, it had been incredibly thorough.
Was four centuries really enough time to completely remove every trace of a God from an entire nation? Diesor wasn’t that small, and surely word of mouth could have at least kept the legend of Tornara alive through the years. Even if the people were afraid to speak, afraid of persecution, claiming her legacy had been reduced down to just a painting and a book was hard to believe.
“So you hadn’t thought about it,” scoffed Asa. “You just believed in such an impossible tale. I’ll let you know I had been with the Heralds since I was a child. Our group was dedicated to eradicating all signs of heresy and cults from Diesor, but even we didn’t have a single bit of information on your Goddess.”
“… All the records were destroyed, I just said-”
“You’ve been believing a fool’s story, Lior. There is no sixth God, only you and your empty trust in the word of an ancient prankster.”
“You… you wouldn’t understand. I’ve heard her voice… you wouldn’t know what it’s like to be guided by a God…”
It was a feeble comeback. My mind was still reeling, a combination of hearing his view and the revulsion of considering it. It was beyond pathetic.
“I would.” Asa took a couple steps closer to me, confident and unafraid. “They sent me to stop you from spreading that lie, but you refuse to face reality. You continue to sculpt that heretic Goddess and delve further into degeneracy. Rather than realize that your faith has brought pain to you and those around you, you persist in it.”
“…”
“I understand now. I may have thought I had another reason for coming here, but no, this was another message from the Gods. They sent me to this village to right your ways and end this madness. Once more, I have been chosen to help cleanse the land.”
He continued to walk forward. He grinned as his eye took on an insane wideness. He was assured of his divine purpose, an absurd display of his own twisted faith.
“But let us work together in this,” Asa intoned. “I can feel that I do not need to use violent means on you again. You are not beyond redemption, for even the most contemptible of sinners can find salvation if the simply open their hearts to the Gods again. Rejoice, my fellow man, for the Gods have offered you a second chance!”
“…”
“Give up on your false Goddess, Lior. Give up on your mountain and mend your ways. Until then, the Gods will continue to send me and others like me after you. I am not here to kill you or destroy anything. Retract your heretical ways, and let the Gods purify you once again!”
He was within reach now, his arms held out at his sides. He continued to stare at me, not a hint of fear in his eye while my own hands hung loose at my sides. Without a chisel in hand, he saw I had no intention of killing him.
After hearing what he said, I understood. Asa was right; it was entirely possible that Tornara was never a God, that she was just a fictional creation from centuries ago. All of my actions could have been built on an ancient falsehood. That feeling of having her watch over me could just be the result of an overactive imagination.
All the love I had felt may have been for nothing more than a fairy tale.
“Let us hear you, Lior!” Asa cried madly. “Let all of Tresety hear your renouncement of the false Goddess, your reclamation of the true faith! Let me hear your answer!”
I slugged him as hard as I could.
Thanks to his missing eye, he never had a chance of reacting to a left hook.
He tumbled and fell over. I held my fists up, assuming a shoddy fighting stance just in case he tried to counterattack. My hand was throbbing from the impact, but I felt great. Finally, I had that bastard on the ground, writhing like the worm he was.
“How’s that for an answer?!” I taunted, looking down at Asa’s fallen form.
“Ngh…” He rose to one knee, holding his wounded face. “I see, so that’s how it’s going to be, you gods-damned fool…”
“Of course. My faith in Tornara is unshakable. Like there was ever a chance I’d let a bastard like you change my mind!”
“You’d continue to blindly follow a fake God?”
“She isn’t fake, I know in my heart what I read was true. And even if she was, it wouldn’t matter to me. I’m still in love her.”
“”Love”?! You think you can be in love with a God?!”
“Yes, and I know she loves me too. I can feel her watching over me, even now. She protected me from you all those years ago and continues to guide me down the right path. She is my beloved Goddess, and I am her devoted follower. She’s the light of my life, the one who gave me a purpose!”
“She’s just a piece of fiction that pretends to be history, you fool!”
“Like I give a shit! If she’s just a fairy tale for now, I’ll keep dedicating my life to her until she’s recognized as the Goddess I know she is!”
“You’d dedicate your life to a lie…?!”
“No, I’ve committed my life to the one that I love. Regardless of what happened centuries ago, my feelings for her, here and now, are real. As someone who twists the wishes of Gods to their own violent ends, I don’t expect you to understand what true belief is. Faith isn’t savagely enforcing the dogma of your religion; it’s trusting in something, knowing deep down that it’s true, even when someone tries to convince you otherwise.”
“You’re just a stubborn jackass that refuses to face the truth!”
“To me, Tornara and my love for her are what’s real. If that doesn’t belong in your ‘truth’, then I’ll happily believe in my lies!”
“Gods… you’re irredeemable…”
Asa rose to his feet. I kept my arms up, ready for conflict. He showed no sign of attacking, but I wouldn’t drop my guard so easily.
“Turn yourself in, Asa,” I said. “You can’t run forever, just as you can’t change my faith in Tornara. You need to answer for the horrible things you’ve done.”
“Do I, now? Way I see it, I’ve now got important business to take care of, too important for me to let myself get captured before it’s done…” There was a glint in his eye, that same frantic energy I saw back in Master Malka’s studio.
“Don’t do anything stupid, you zealous bastard.”
“I think you’re the one who’s done something quite stupid. You shouldn’t have settled on a single blow. You should have used that opportunity to kill me. I might have made a mistake before, but this time, I’ll make sure you’re dead before I set your damn studio ablaze!”
With a sudden swing of his arm, he hurled his fur cloak at me. I fumbled to throw it off myself, only to see Asa sprinting down the street.
With a bitter curse, I gave chase immediately.
He ran between buildings and around corners. I knew the village layout well enough, but he took every chance to put obstacles in my way. Hopping over fences, knocking barrels over, and dashing through groups of people. He was thinner and more lithe than me, allowing him to maneuver quickly.
But I couldn’t let him get away again. The sun was almost set, but I’d chase Asa through the night if that’s what it took.
It soon became obvious he was trying to lose me before returning to the incomplete highway. Unfortunately for him, I knew paths through town he didn’t and moved to head him off. It nearly worked too, but the bastard was good at feinting and escaping. He ran back to the main thoroughfare, with me hot on his heels.
Once he realized he couldn’t lose me in the village nor retreat into the forest, Asa turned and bolted towards the plains. He must have been getting desperate as there was no way he could evade me there. The wide open area would make hiding impossible and tracking his movements a simple matter, even in the dim moonlight.
However, once we got near the plains, he made another sharp turn towards a farm. Putting himself in a fenced enclosure would just make escape even harder, so either the exhaustion had truly crippled his thinking, or he had a plan.
It was regrettably the latter.
The farm in question was a large one that now sold produce to Quatrot. As such, it had several horses and wagons. With magnificently ill timing, one of the horses was currently being led into the stable. My heart plummeted as I saw Asa run for the mount.
“Horse thief!” I shouted, in hopes of alerting the stable worker.
My warning came too late. Just as the man turned to face my voice, Asa swung an elbow into his jaw, flooring him. The bastard then leapt onto the horse’s back, tugged on the reigns, and spun the steed towards me.
“I’ll be back, Lior!” Asa shouted. “Rue your sacrilege and repent for your sins! Soon, I shall bring the Gods’ judgment upon you and deliver the retribution you’ve avoided for too long!”
He snapped the reigns. The horse quickly broke into a full sprint, charging right at me. I threw myself to the side and narrowly avoided being trampled. The animal and its thief then ran past me, onto the plains and out of sight.
Asa’s insane laughter seemed to echo out long after he faded into the distance.
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