A Fool's Goddess - Chapter Twenty-Seven
I cursed as I laid there in the dirt. Despite all of my efforts, I had failed to stop Asa. Worse yet, I had reignited his desire to kill me. I pounded my fist into the ground, angry at my inability to catch him and for allowing him say such detestable things about my beloved Goddess.
But now wasn’t the time for me to wallow in my shame. Asa had promised to return, and if he was planning to attack, I had to do everything I could to stop him.
I first moved to check on the stable hand. He was stunned and would likely have a sore jaw for a few days, but was otherwise fine. I helped him up before asking him to take me to the farm’s owner. He easily agreed, citing that it would help him to have someone back up his story for why a horse was now missing.
The owner turned out to be the same farmer who once shared his disgusting alcohol with me. He was looking much more proper these days, a result of his business expanding to the point where he didn’t have to spend his free time making booze. He remembered me as well, being one of his brew’s few customers and all.
I explained that I was chasing a wanted man who then fled to this farm and stole the horse. I skipped most of the personal details, claiming I just happened to see him back in Dostyn during the attacks. I then apologized for failing to stop Asa from stealing the horse, but the farmer waved it off, saying he was happier that his stable hand was fine.
After that, I gave them Asa’s description and asked if they could spread the word. I mentioned that I had already spoken with Mayor Tzofiya and that she was going to put the guards on alert as well. The farmer said he would help out where he could, as he would like to get his own animal back if possible. I thanked him before hurrying back to my studio.
It was fairly late now, but there was a decent chance that all of my apprentices were still there. They were probably wondering why their master hadn’t come back yet, as they typically didn’t leave until I showed up after working on the mountain. Hopefully nobody had run out to find me.
Hed was the most likely to do so, but I was least afraid of him being out alone. If he did leave, I could also guess his plan of action. He’d probably check the mountain first, then talk to Tzofiya, then return to the studio. If he did that, he’d learn what had happened from his mother, but then his concern would only spike when he heard I was supposed to go back and tell them myself.
For once, I found myself wishing he was hungover and immobile.
I took a moment to catch my breath outside of the studio. The lights were still on inside, a good sign. I had a lot of explaining to do, but I wanted to skimp on details where possible, if only for Libi’s sake. I took a few moments to plan my words ahead of time.
However, before I could fully ready myself, someone called out from behind me.
“Master Lior!”
I turned to face him. Walking up to me was Hed, his surprise and relief plain.
“There you are! I just got back from speaking with Ma- erm, the mayor. She told me you saw some wanted man walk into town and wanted to warn everyone. Weren’t you supposed to come back here an hour ago?!”
“Unfortunately, I ran into that bastard on my way back. I tried to stop him, but he got away.”
“Shit… Are you okay?”
“Yeah, I’m fine. Did you talk to Niv and Libi yet?”
“No, I only just heard the news. I went to go find you since you didn’t return to the studio at your usual time, but I didn’t see you at the mountain. I thought the mayor might know, so I spoke with her.”
In another time, I would have smugly gloated about predicting his actions so well, but as things were, I pushed such petty feelings aside.
“That was good thinking, Hed. Come on, let’s get inside. We need to let the others know.”
We pushed through the door to the studio. Libi was seated at the workbench while Niv seemed to be organizing our stocks of materials. They both turned to face us as we entered.
“Ah, Master Lior,” said Niv, putting his work aside.
Libi hopped off her stool and looked at us happily, excited but unable to find the right words for her greeting. Unfortunately, I couldn’t give her the time she needed.
“Gather around, guys, we’ve got some serious business to talk about,” I announced.
I sat myself down at the table and motioned for the others to join me. Hed took the seat to my right, Libi took the left, and Niv sat across. It almost looked like we were preparing for a game of cards, but there were things more valuable than a few coins at stake right now.
They looked at me nervously. I did my best to look like the composed leader I pretended to be, keeping my hands in front of me and suppressing my own anxieties as I began my explanation.
“As you all probably noticed, I wasn’t able to return at the usual time today. Right after I finished working on the mountain at sunset, I saw a wanted man enter our village today. I rushed back here to try and catch him, but unfortunately, I lost track of him. I then decided it would be best to notify Mayor Tzofiya.”
“A wanted man?” asked Niv.
“Yeah. He committed several crimes in the past, including arson and murder.” I turned to Libi. “He’s one of the bad people who made me leave Dostyn. I only recognized him because I saw him do those terrible things myself.”
Her eyes went wide with fear. I didn’t like scaring her, but I needed her to understand the gravity of the situation.
“What happened after you spoke to the mayor?” urged Hed.
“I meant to head back here, but I ran into the bastard just down the street. We… talked for a bit, but he then tried to run on me. I ended up pursuing him to one of the farms, where he then stole a horse and rode away.”
“He’s gone?”
“For now, but he promised he was going to return, for me specifically,” I said grimly. “So, of course, we now need to deal with that.”
“W-what are we gonna do?” asked Libi.
“Unfortunately, we’re going to close the studio for a little while.”
“What?!” exclaimed Hed, slamming his hands on the table.
“If he’s targeting the studio, then you’re all at risk too. I won’t allow that.”
“Fuck that! If we know to expect him, there’s no way he could get the drop on all of us!”
“That’s not the point,” I said sternly. “None of us are fighters while he’s a known killer. It doesn’t matter how prepared we can be, he’s not afraid of death. We can’t fight him, head on or otherwise.”
“But the mayor told me you wanted to ki-”
“Stop.”
Hed stared blankly at me, caught off guard by my sudden aggression.
“You and I can talk about that another time. Alone. For now, we need to focus on that wanted man and what he’s planning.”
“Do you know why he has a special interest in you, Master Lior?” Niv asked.
“He possesses strong religious beliefs, to the point where expressing Tornara in my art is seen as heresy to him. He plans to destroy this place to assert his own dogma.”
“Do you believe he knows the location of this studio?”
I thought for a moment. “I think so. He greeted me as ‘Master Lior’, so that tells me he probably saw the sign in front. He also directly threatened the studio, so even if he doesn’t know where it is, he’ll focus on finding it… which won’t be very hard.”
“Where would you have us go while operations are shut down?”
It was great having Niv as part of this conversation. That no-nonsense attitude was perfect for reducing unnecessary chatter and keeping things concise.
“You and Hed can stay in your own home, and I want Libi to stay at Tzofiya’s. Jonathan is supposed to be moving in soon, so she’ll be safe there. We’ll have you guys avoid the studio for a week, and assuming the bastard’s not caught in that time, we’ll reconvene and decide on what to do from there.”
“I don’t want to be separated from everyone…” Libi muttered.
“I know, but I worry about you the most. You won’t be alone the entire time, anyways. Tzofiya will be there, and I’ll be sure to stop by and help with your sculpting, alright?”
“What about everyone else?”
“If they want to, they can visit as well.”
“Don’t worry, I’ll check on you,” Hed said to her, smirking. She almost smiled back.
“But, Libi,” I followed up with a serious tone, “I don’t want you to leave Tzofiya’s house alone. The man we’re talking about is extremely dangerous. He wouldn’t have a problem hurting you if he wanted to, and it would make everyone very sad if that happened. So, as your master, I’m asking you to please keep yourself safe. This trouble will pass in time, so we just need to be careful for now.”
She kept quiet for a moment, a little frown on her face, then said, “… I understand.”
“Thank you. More than anything else, I don’t want you guys to get hurt in all of this. It’s a master’s duty to protect their students after all.”
Such was Master Malka’s final, unforgettable lesson.
“So Hed, you and Niv can continue what operations you can in your own home, but you’re not required to do anything,” I continued. “As you’re adults, I can’t force you to stay home, so if you want to drink, visit Libi, or otherwise, do it. Just stay away from the studio for now.”
“Awful hard when we live next door,” said Hed. “Where are you gonna be?”
“I’ll continue to live and work here.”
“What?! You’re just gonna sit in the danger you’re telling us to avoid?!”
“Someone needs to keep an eye on the studio in case that bastard returns. And we’ll be able to anticipate his actions better if both of his targets are in the same place.”
“How the fuck do you expect me to sit still after hearing that?!”
“Don’t worry, I’m not going about this foolishly. I’ll make sure Tzofiya knows the plan so she can post one of the guards in the area. I’m just staying here to play watchdog and guard the building, hell, I won’t even be working on the cliff for now. But make no mistake: I have no intention of getting killed, so I’ll run the moment trouble shows up.”
Hed met my gaze angrily, then grunted. “Feh, for a guy who normally lacks foresight, you’ve given this an impressive amount of thought.”
I let out a small laugh. “I guess I just needed to be serious enough. Protecting you guys and our studio is too important for me to be careless.”
“Master Lior, would you be able to describe this wanted man for us?” prompted Niv.
“Yeah, I can. Listen carefully, and if you see him, don’t approach him or anything. Just run to the nearest guard or Mayor Tzofiya, alright?”
“Understood,” each apprentice said in turn.
“Alright then. So, he’s got long, red hair, usually tied up. Most notably, he’s missing his right eye, but it’s covered with a black eyepatch. He’s got short facial hair, though he might shave that off to try and conceal his identity. And last I saw, he was wearing foreign clothes, so they don’t have the usual Tresety designs. In a word, he looks like an outsider.”
“Good, sounds like he stands out like a sore thumb,” said Hed, crossing his arms.
“Oh yeah, and the bastard’s name is Asa. He tried to pass himself off as someone else before back in Dostyn, so I wouldn’t be surprised if he does that again.”
I scanned my apprentice’s reactions. Hed was nodding, grim and focused. Libi was looking around, unsure, likely waiting for the adults to speak.
But Niv was different. Not just that he was different from them, he was acting unlike his normal self. For the first time I’d ever seen, his brow was knitted, a mix of concern and fear.
“What’s the matter, Niv?”
He nearly jumped in his seat. His face went mostly back to normal, but there were lingering vestiges of distress.
“Oh… I… I think I might have… heard of him before.”
We all looked at him with surprise. “When and where?” I pressed.
“Erm… not today… It was back in Dostyn…”
“Ah. Coincidental then,” I sighed. “Sorry, I’ve just never seen you look so upset. I should have assumed it would have been back then.”
“Y-yes, my apologies as well. I did not mean to disturb you.”
“Don’t worry about it. But now you know exactly what kind of person I’m talking about. I’m sure you understand the level of danger we’re dealing with.”
“Indeed…”
“Alright,” I said, addressing the whole group again. “Let’s go over what each of you will do tonight. Hed, I want you take Libi home before helping spread the word for Tzofiya. As such, Libi, feel free to take as much clay and whatever tools you like. Like I said, you’ll continue your lessons at Tzofiya’s for the next week. Niv, you can either help Hed or move materials into your home, whichever you prefer. But after tonight, none of you can come back here until I say so.”
“Sounds good to me,” nodded Hed.
Libi nodded as well.
“I would like to move some things, if that is acceptable. I feel I will need something to occupy me during this time, so I would like to prepare for that,” said Niv.
“That’s fine. As for me, I’ll be here most of the time, but I’ll be sure to swing by Tzofiya’s tomorrow. I need to discuss guard placements with her and work out what times I can see Libi.”
Another round of acknowledgements from my apprentices.
“Perfect. Does anybody have any questions?”
“Not a question, but I have something I need to say,” said Hed.
“What is it?”
“We need to talk. Alone, as you specified.”
Right, he had heard from Tzofiya that I had planned to kill Asa. I had hoped that would have slipped his mind amidst our roundtable, but I guess that was a rather futile desire. He was his mother’s son after all.
“Fine, come back here after your errands. Any other questions?”
Silence.
“Good. Then let’s get moving, everyone.”
We all rose from our chairs and headed off to our respective tasks. Hed and Libi went to the workbench and began bundling clay and tools for Libi to take home. I helped Niv move a pottery wheel and several loads of clay into the neighboring home, along with some other tools and incomplete commissions for safekeeping.
By our third return to the studio, my other two apprentices had left. I was a bit sad they didn’t stop to say goodbye first, but I quickly shook off those woes. No matter what happened, tonight wouldn’t be the last time we saw each other.
Once Niv was squared away, I parted ways with him and went back into my studio. Even though it was getting late, I couldn't sleep yet. I was too worked up, and Hed still wanted to talk. I wasn’t sure how long it would be until he came back, so I decided to keep my hands busy in the only way I knew.
I grabbed a head-sized block of Dostyn marble, a special treat I had bought for myself, and began sculpting a figure of Tornara.
I had already made one like it before, but I envisioned chiseling out the image of her sitting on a boulder, like she appeared in my dream. I was quite fond of that scene, likely because it was so personal. My practiced hands got to work, tapping away to drown out the noise of my own anxieties.
Taking advantage of the fact that I was alone, I soon felt the need to speak with Tornara. Too much had happened today for me to keep it all inside my head. I needed to relax, and I couldn’t think of anything more comforting than sharing my worries with my beloved.
As my body continued to work, my mind drifted to the painting in my bedroom and the perfect beauty it held.
“Who would have thought I’d see the man who killed Master and Chen ever again? I guess it really was hopeful thinking that Asa died with the other nutjobs who attacked the Temple. I especially never would have predicted he’d end up in this backwater. At least he was kind enough to make his plans obvious, I suppose.”
A few strategic strikes, and a corner of the block fell off.
“I’m sorry for wanting to kill him. I know you wouldn’t have wanted that, but in that moment, I didn’t care. All I could think about was what happened four years ago. Seeing them dead on the floor… it’s hard not to want to kill the man responsible. But maybe that’s why you sent me to Tzofiya. She’s really good at playing the cool headed mayor, even when I’m screaming in her face. I’m okay now, thanks to her.”
I cut off another corner. Right now, I just needed to remove the excess stone.
“I meant what I said to Asa, by the way. I really don’t care if you were worshipped hundreds of years ago or just made up by that book’s author. I love you and that’s all that matters to me. I know you’ve spoken to me and continue to protect me, so whether or not it was true in the past, I’d like for people to see the wonderful Goddess you are today.”
I leaned back for a moment and took a deep breath.
“You know, I really am afraid of what that bastard’s planning to do. I put on a brave face in front of my apprentices, but in truth, I’m terrified of what he’s capable of. I’m hoping he’s genuinely focused on me. I’d hate to lose the studio, but I don’t know if I could make it through losing any of those guys. I’m doing everything I can to keep them safe, but a zealous monster like Asa…”
I paused in thought. The tools sat quietly in my hands.
“My beloved Tornara, I have a favor to ask you.”
The room was filled with silence, as if the world itself was listening for my request. There wasn’t a sound coming from outside, not a passing stranger or an evening bird.
“I’d wish more than anything that we could all make it past this unscathed. But if you can’t protect everyone, I’d ask that you keep my students safe. Hed and Niv don’t need me anymore, and Libi has seen enough trouble in her life already. I’d like to continue my duty as their master, but if it comes down to it, they’re innocent in this. They don’t deserve to get mixed up with the demons of my past.”
I looked down at the bead bracelet on my wrist. Such a cheap charm for luck. I wonder how Chen would feel if he could see how long it had stayed with me. Would he tease me for holding onto it? Or be happy that it actually seemed to bestow good fortune?
“Nobody should have to suffer that bastard’s malice. But if someone has to, I’ll do it. So I’m begging you, above all else, watch over my apprentices. If anyone’s going to die by his hands, let it be me. I won’t let it happen if I can prevent it, but if that is what the Gods want, so be it.”
I sat there in silence for a moment, hoping to receive some sign that my words had reached Tornara, that she had heard my request. It was an arrogant desire, the spoiled wish of a man who already received more blessings than any one person deserved. But I voiced that desire nonetheless, and patiently waited for a reply.
I heard nothing, saw nothing. Stillness filled the studio, as thick and ubiquitous as the constant heat from the kiln. And yet I found myself filled with comfort, a pleasant solace unborn from my own thoughts.
A contentment that defied explanation told me I wouldn’t have to worry.
I began chipping at the block again.
“Thank you, Tornara,” I smiled. “I am truly blessed to have fallen in love with a Goddess like you.”
Without a knock, the front door opened. I turned and saw Hed walking back in, gently closing the door behind himself.
“You know, you shouldn’t talk like you’re expendable either.”
I sighed with annoyance. “How long were you listening?”
“The entire time. I had literally just put my hand on the door knob when you started talking.”
“It’s impolite to eavesdrop. Didn’t I tell you that before?”
“Maybe? I was worried that maybe that killer had come back already and you were talking to him. Once I realized you were talking to Tornara, it felt more rude to interrupt.”
“But not too rude to listen in?”
“I got to hear your unabridged thoughts, so I’ll take the asshole points.”
He sat down on the stool next to me. He clearly had no plans to work on anything, instead crossing his arms and staring at me.
I guess it was already time for our personal talk.
“I don’t understand why you talk like we’re these young, fragile things and you’re our old master whose glory days have already passed,” said Hed.
“Maybe they have. You didn’t see my old work. It was pretty damn good.”
“Certainly can’t be worse than the shit you crank out now.”
“Oh yeah? Where’s your mountainside?”
“In my dreams, like most sane people,” he replied. “But, Master, really, you ain’t alone in this.”
I looked down and exhaled. Unfortunately, there wasn’t much I could say to steer this subject, not after he heard me speak to Tornara. “I know. But I’m just afraid of losing everyone again.”
“I get it. But have a little faith in your doting apprentices. We don’t want to get killed either, but we don’t want to lose our teacher instead.”
“It’s the master’s duty to protect their students.”
“Sure, but that don’t mean we can’t try to keep you safe as well. Just don’t try to martyr yourself so easily, huh?”
“Like I said, I don’t plan to die. I’m just making sure I have my priorities in order.”
“Gods, you really do take your job seriously.” Then, more seriously, he asked, “Why do you worry about us so much?”
That wasn’t an easy question to answer. Doing so would require dredging up more memories from the past, more things Master Malka had imparted to me. I wanted to lie and evade the query, but that would be pointless. I’m sure Hed would know if I didn’t give him the truth.
So, I gave him the truth.
“I guess I never told you what happened to Master Malka. She died protecting me from Asa four years ago. She wasn’t too much older than me, but she put her life on the line the moment that bastard threatened us, valuing her protege over herself. It was the last thing she taught me. So, if it comes down to it, I will do the same for all of you.”
Hed stared at me, wide eyed. There was an empathetic twist to his mouth, as if he wanted to say something comforting. But he simply composed himself instead.
“I’m sorry for that, Master.”
“Thank you. I’m sure you know how much she meant to me.”
“I… guess I understand why you wanted to kill him now.”
“Yeah. It’s a good thing I spoke to Tzofiya first.”
“But things will be different this time,” he assured. “You have all of us, so we’ll all watch each other’s backs.”
I shook my head. “That’s not what I want. I want you guys to stay out of this as much as possible. If he hurt any of you, I’d go hunt him down again, and I wouldn’t let anyone stop me then. I really would kill him, regardless of the consequences.”
My apprentice stayed silent. He wanted to argue, but we were at an impasse. Two separate desires to protect, yet unable to coexist.
“Listen, you’re all family to me,” I said. “I already lost my family once, four years ago. I just don’t want to lose it again.”
“Then just keep in mind your family doesn’t want to lose you either. We all worry about you, especially since you’re trying to do everything on your own. You’re the older brother I never asked for and can’t imagine going without. I’ll kill that bastard myself if he hurts you again.”
I looked away, forcing my eyes to the ground.
Why the hell was this little smartass, this thickheaded apprentice of mine who drove me up the wall, being so endearing?
In front of the last person I’d want to see me like this, I began to tear up. I made no noise, but I could feel my hands become unsteady and my eyes grow hot with tears. I wasn’t sure how much longer I could stop myself from sobbing like a ham actor. I subtly glanced over at Hed, and lost any remaining grip on my composure.
He was shamelessly crying in front of his master.
“You little shit,” I muttered before dragging him into a hug. “It’s not nice to say things that make people cry.”
“I’ll keep that in mind next time there’s a wanted man threatening someone important to me.” He happily held his arms around me, knowing he had won this round.
In all the years I had known him, I had never once seen Hed cry. Not when he accidentally broke his fingers, not when he first got drunk, and not when he got rejected by some foreign girl. Every time, he simply put on a smirk and cracked a few jokes.
And yet here he was, tearing up in fear for his master’s safety. I felt myself hold him tighter.
With a deep breath, I pulled away and wiped my tears. Hed smiled at me, clearly satisfied with the results of his actions.
Asa’s reappearance had brought back too many memories of that day. That day of terrible fires and brutal deaths, of unfortunate partings and terrifying violence. It was a day I never wanted to remember.
But through my apprentices, I was also reminded of why I missed Master Malka and Chen so dearly. It wasn’t because they died, it was because they had lived. I was beyond fortunate to have met them, to have felt the joy of their company. They had cared about me and I cherished them deeply in return.
Feeling those same warm emotions again, that sense of love and belonging, it filled me with an even greater resolve to keep my family safe and together.
“… Alright, you win.”
Hed grinned. “What’s my prize?”
“A long life of having me ride your ass.”
“Can I trade it for something else?”
“Nope. You asked for this. Now I have to go back and beg Tornara to do everything she can to keep me safe too, since you just had to go and make me feel all fuzzy inside.”
“Good.”
“… Thanks, Hed,” I said quietly. “I’ll try to rely on you guys more.”
“Damn straight. I’m okay if you don’t want to fight that Asa bastard. Like you said, none of us even know how. But instead of just running away from him, come find me and Niv. We can protect each other way better than any of us can protect ourselves.”
I still wanted to argue against that proposition, but I could see how badly it had hurt him to feel excluded from the situation. He wasn’t a scrappy youth looking for a brawl, he was a normal kid who saw someone dear to him refuse help in the face of danger. Of course he was upset, I was leaving him powerless.
Master Malka would have said I was doing the right thing. She would say letting my apprentices get involved would be putting them in peril and likely call me an idiot again. But, as much as I respected her, I couldn’t follow her lessons this time. Hopefully she could forgive me.
This would be Master Lior’s lesson to his apprentices. And he would do everything he could to make sure it wasn’t his last.
“Okay,” I finally agreed. It was but a single word, but the weight was enormous. “I’ll go to you guys immediately if Asa shows up here. And we’ll figure out what to do after that, together.”
“That’s the best news I’ve heard all day.”
“Of course, I’ll blame you if anything bad happens because of this.”
“No worries. Have a little faith in your “number one apprentice”.”
“Great, glad to see you’re letting my little comment go to your head.”
“Well, not everybody has a Niv to inflate their egos. The rest of us have to make do with whatever scraps come our way.”
“Hm, I wonder if I could get Niv to kiss your ass for a day?” I mused with a smile.
“Dear Gods, please no. That’d weird me out so bad, I’d puke.”
It was just an act, a forced exchange of pointless humor, but it was what we needed right now.
We continued our banter for almost another hour. I barely resumed working on my block of marble, too caught up on passing snide comments back and forth with my “little brother”. More than once, I called him that just to embarrass him.
It wasn’t nearly as effective as I would have liked.
Eventually, Hed left for evening, grinning and wishing me a good night. I answered in kind, closed the door, and went straight to my bedroom. I was exhausted, physically and emotionally, but I was also content. Despite the lurking uncertainty, I felt more confident than ever that things would work out. Maybe it was just empty hope, but Hed had inspired me. Somehow, I felt inclined to believe in the little shit.
I got myself ready for sleep, but before I turned out the lights, I looked at Tornara’s portrait. As always, those green eyes looked back with kindness and care.
“I guess I have to retract my earlier request. Unfortunately, that dumbass I call an apprentice is too worried about me. So, I can’t ask you to just protect them. As immodest as it is, I want to eat my cake too. I can’t imagine it’ll be easy, but if it’s in your power, please watch over all of us, Tornara.”
Without a word, I knew that’s what my beloved had planned to do all along.
I smiled knowingly at her painting. Darkening my lamp, I then laid my head down to finally rest for the night.
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