A Fool's Goddess - Chapter Thirty
I had never been more frustrated in my life.
On paper, the idea of spending a week at home without having to work would sound wonderful to most. It would be the perfect opportunity for relaxation, or perhaps a chance to do things out of the ordinary. But no, it instead left me irritated.
Because I could not use my left hand properly, I could not sculpt. I normally used my left to hold the chisel, but now my grip was too weak and the impacts of carving would risk damaging the bones. And because I could not walk on my own, it wasn’t like I could go visit another town or even go to the bar. I was, in a word, agitated.
Gods, my hands feel itchy.
“Like this, Master?” asked Libi, as she aimed her chisel at a stone block.
“Not quite.” I sat next to her at the studio workbench, overseeing her first attempt at stone carving. “Hold it more at an angle. The plan is to remove the material, so you want to knock it away for now. Once you have your general shape made, then you can begin doing more direct strikes to create indentations.”
“Like this?” She adjusted her tools.
“Perfect. Now, since we’re early in, you shouldn’t worry too much, but try to gauge just how much force you need. You can always strike again to remove more, but you can’t put stone back on if you knock too much off. “
“I’m not sure about this… what if I make a mistake?”
“Like I said, don’t worry about it. This is all a learning process, you’re expected to make a few mistakes. Besides, some of the most interesting things were born from errors.”
“Really?”
“Really. Take Hed for example. His name was clearly a mistake, but now we can make all sorts of jokes out of it.”
“Hey!” said my first apprentice, leering at me as he added fuel to the kiln.
“Oh, shut it. You like it when people are creative with your name.”
“Yeah, but what you said was just mean. I’ll tell Ma… uh, the mayor you were making fun of my name again.”
“Whatever, you Hed-case.”
“Eh, three outta ten at best.”
I turned back to watch Libi’s work, only to see she had lowered her tools. She was staring at me, unamused. I rolled my eyes.
“Oh come on, give your master a break. I’m all ornery because I can’t do any work myself. Have pity on a wounded man?”
“Master…”
“I know, I know. Geez, only eleven and you’re already acting like a grown woman. I suppose you’d have to be mature if you’re planning to marry Hed.”
Both of them gasped in shock before flinging arguments at me.
I grinned, satisfied at the results. If those two were going to gang up on me, I had no choice but to resort to more drastic measures. Libi’s not-so-secret crush was a cheap target, but all was fair in love and war.
Besides, she’d probably thank me later for exposing her affections myself.
Maybe.
It took a few more minutes for them to calm back down. Hed had tried to resolve the situation by explaining why he couldn’t marry a girl Libi’s age, but that only ended up backfiring on him. Her eyes began to water, a one-hit kill to Hed’s composure. After that, he pleaded for her to forgive him, trying excuse after excuse. It was only after he promised to buy her some sweets from the bakery that she considered it.
What a fool. She already had him wrapped around her finger.
Still, I was happy. As silly as it was, having such noisy company was the most relaxing part of my recovery time. Being with my apprentices in the studio, arguing and working, it was the best vacation I could have asked for.
Once the clamor passed, we returned to Libi’s lessons. She didn’t really have a design in mind, but I told her it was fine. More than anything, she just needed to get used to the tools. She was already pretty good with clay, but I liked my students to have a solid grip on all forms of sculpture. At the very least, it was to make sure they tried everything before deciding on what their favorite medium was.
And, to be honest, I didn’t want her to associate chisels with what I had done.
It had been four days since Asa had tried to kill me. Four days since I took his other eye before knocking him unconscious in a moment of vehement sacrilege. That horrible episode in the history of our village that, by some miracle, ended without a death.
Tornara truly was able to protect everyone… perhaps even including Asa.
Of course, he still was sent off to court to stand trial for his crimes. He didn’t wake up before being hauled out of my studio, but I’m sure he was quite unhappy to find himself tied, disarmed, and likely with a throbbing headache.
After the incident, Hed quickly returned with the shaman and a guard. Moments after that, Tzofiya came in with her husband at her side. Jonathan helped the guard take Asa out of the studio while Tzofiya and the shaman spoke with me. Hed and Niv stood in the room as well, with the former unwilling to let the latter out of his sight.
The shaman was still acting as our village physician so he inspected my injuries while Tzofiya interrogated me. I spared her none of the details, telling her how I had been caught by surprise before Asa made me choose between injury or the death of someone else. I then had to reluctantly share how he had burned Tornara’s portrait and book. She also seemed surprised that I had let it happen, but I assured her it was fine. After ten years, I had memorized every inch of that painting and every word in that journal. The true records were still in my mind.
Besides, I still had the plans for the mountainside and plenty of sculptures. There were far more images of Tornara than Asa was aware of, and I could make even more than that. Although losing the painting hurt, I’m sure my Goddess was happier that I had let it burn in an attempt to prevent an injury.
If only Asa had followed his own damn rules…
According to Tzofiya, she was going to contact the Temple of the Five so they could determine Asa’s rightful punishment. He was arrested for assault, trespassing, thievery, and murder, so he was already facing a long time in prison, but the mayor was particularly angered by how he had gotten her son tied up in all of this. She wanted to make sure the zealot would go down for every sinister act he had ever committed, including his crimes on that fateful day in Dostyn.
A longer sentence wouldn’t change much, though. Asa wasn’t really a threat anymore. He was now as blind to the world as he had been to the Gods’ desires. Even if he managed to evade imprisonment, I doubt he’d be able to find his way back to Tresety or cause real harm to anyone ever again. And I knew his cousin wouldn’t help him again this time.
Speaking of which, I was surprised to learn that Asa had actually been honest about his purposes in Tresety. That morning, Hed really was gagged and bound by Asa’s cousin. They had done so while my apprentice was still sleeping, never giving him a chance to escape. However, while I was incredulous that Asa had genuinely come here to see a family member, it was more baffling to learn I had met said cousin.
Or rather, I had known him for years.
The front door to the studio opened up, letting a cold breeze in. A man stepped through and closed the chill out behind him. He was a very average man, woefully plain except for his glasses. Just like always, his face betrayed no emotion.
My second apprentice, Niv.
Asa’s cousin and erstwhile conspirator.
“Master Lior, I have returned. Per your request, I have gathered additional stones for Libi’s practice. Where would you like me to place them?” he asked with his usual professionalism.
“Just here is fine.” I pointed next to the workbench with my bandaged hand. “How many did you get?”
“Roughly two hundred.”
“T-two hundred…?!”
How on earth did his back survive that trip? Looking him over, he didn’t even seem tired. Was he superhuman in more ways than just his diligence?
“Okay, just put a dozen or so in here and leave the rest on the side of the building.”
“Yes, Master Lior. I also procured some additional remedies for your pain from the shaman. If you would like, I would be glad to help you apply them to your injuries.”
“I’m okay right now, thanks.”
“Are you sure? You do not need to hide your discomfort from me. It is my honor to continue to serve you, so if you would like any form of assistance, I am more than happy to provide whatever is needed to-”
“Niv.”
“Y-yes, Master Lior?”
“You don’t need to try so hard.”
He looked away. I knew he was still ashamed of what had happened, but we had already talked about how he would make up for it. What he was doing right now was overkill, a selfish attempt to make himself feel better.
“I know,” Niv said quietly. “I just… feel there is more I can do.”
“There will always be more work for you to do. But for now, focus on helping the studio catch up after being closed for a week. Your pottery is still one of our bestselling items, so I need you front and center.”
“Yes, Master Lior. Allow me to apologize once more.”
With that, he began moving back and forth between the workbench and outside, making a pile of practice stones for later. Once he was done, he went to the pottery wheel, wetted a lump of clay, and started a new pot. Hed eyed him warily while Libi’s gaze darted between them.
Unfortunately, restoring damaged trust was a long process that would always leave a scar. But Niv had chosen this path. If he truly wanted redemption, he would have to accept the pain of staying with those he had betrayed.
It seemed particularly hard for him to deal with me. His actions had left us all hurt, but my injuries were visible, a constant reminder of his failure. Everytime he looked at me, his eyes were drawn to the bandages on my arm.
The injuries he had indirectly caused.
After the shaman had finished his examination, he had both good and bad news for me. The good was that my wrist wasn’t broken, only fractured. A splint and a cast and it would be fine soon enough. He even said he foresaw no lasting damages so long as I did nothing to exacerbate the wound.
The bad news was my knee. That truly was broken, cap and joint shattered together. The shaman would do his best, but he admitted he had never dealt with something like that before. He cautioned that I would probably have difficulty walking or even standing, even after it healed. The damn thing still throbbed today, stuck in a half-bent state.
I was given crutches in the meantime, meaning there was no chance of me going to work on my mountainside. I couldn’t climb up the trail, and even if I did make it up there, my injuries would make working from the ropes nigh impossible. I was left unable to do sculpting of any sort, so for now, I continued to stay in the studio and oversee my apprentices.
Especially Niv. Even though he had apologized more times than I could count, even though he seemed determined to vindicate himself, I wanted to make sure he’d hold fast to his word. Though, it was more for his sake than my own.
After the incident, while we were all still gathered in my bedroom, Niv admitted he had spoken to Asa the day after the zealot had first appeared in Tresety. He had approached Niv in his home, while Hed was with Libi, to “talk”. Niv said he only agreed to the conversation because he felt he owed Asa a favor over their shared past.
It would seem Niv was more than just a witness to the attacks on Dostyn. Even though he didn’t light any of the fires or attack any ‘heretics’, he still stood with the Heralds of the Divine on that day, four years ago. He put on the cloak and joined the crowds of madmen who claimed to be cleansing Dostyn.
No wonder he was always so hesitant to discuss that day with me.
Depending on how you look at it, it may have been fortunate that he found his conscience during those ordeals. After seeing his group set the city ablaze, he abandoned them and left the city, traumatized by the horrors he helped facilitate. He wandered Diesor, looking for a fresh start, and eventually found it in our studio. It was ironic that he ended up working for one of his group’s victims, but perhaps that was why he was so devoted.
But despite their terrible crimes, he couldn’t completely renounce the Heralds either. They gave him a place to belong years ago, gave him community. Even if they were horrible people, they were good to him. Leaving them behind still plagued him with just as much guilt as he felt from helping them.
A certain someone was more than eager to twist that guilt to their own means.
Asa convinced Niv he owed his cousin for abandoning him. And like a fool, Niv agreed. From there, their discussion turned to how Asa planned to punish me. Apparently, like the foul liar he was, he gave Niv a different scheme than what he actually had in store.
The bastard said he was simply planning to tie me to a chair and make me watch as he wrecked the studio. He claimed he had no intention of spilling blood if he could instead destroy what he felt was most valuable to me, to convince me of the wrongness of my beliefs. He asked Niv for his key to my studio and to keep Hed occupied so no one would see the destruction and risk complicating things. Once Asa was done, he would leave the village and never return.
And Niv foolishly bought it.
He claimed he felt his cousin was being honest, as he had never known Asa to lie before. And if he could prevent bloodshed by tying Hed down, he was willing to do it. Niv thought he had found the best solution to our dilemma, only to have paved the way for even more heinous acts. The only reason he released Hed before it was over was because he heard Asa scream.
The realization of his mistake threatened to crush him, but that would be a weight he would carry for the rest of his life.
After confessing his actions, I asked Niv what he was going to do next. He showed little intent on running away, even if Tzofiya and Hed would let him off the hook for his crimes. And I similarly had no plans to excuse his betrayal either, as it had led to the needless destruction of Tornara’s records.
Niv agreed to accept whatever punishment he was given. After that, he would return to wandering the land until he found a new home, saying he would figure the rest out from there.
I looked at Tzofiya. She was glaring at Niv, as was Hed. The shaman was busy setting my splint, gently humming to himself. I let out a sigh before saying what we were all thinking.
“Dumbass.”
He was too stiff to see that he was setting himself up for the same guilt he felt upon leaving the Heralds. Once again, he would leave after being part of something terrible, providing fertile ground for remorse and future manipulation. Even though it was decided he had to pay for his misdeeds, not even Hed wanted his fellow apprentice to continue that cycle of regret. If he truly wanted to make up for what he had done, he would have to stay here and face it.
We then began to debate on what exactly Niv’s punishment should be. I vouched for indenturement while Tzofiya preferred house arrest. Hed wanted to just beat the crap out of him, but we quickly shot that one down. But we all agreed on one thing: there was no point in just sending Niv to prison. We would be giving him the easy escape he wanted.
After our arguments went on long enough, it was the shaman who interceded and suggested a solution. He proposed a formal fine along with a sort of community service. That way, Niv could satisfy the consequences of his crimes legally while also binding him with a contract that required him to stay in Tresety.
In lieu of imprisonment, he would pay the village a fine for kidnapping, as well as damages to Hed. And in the meantime, he was required to assist me, both in maintaining my business and completing any tasks my crippled leg now made impossible.
It was a brutal solution, one that would dominate his life. He would work to pay his fines, only to then spend his time helping me in whatever ways I needed. The only escape would be if he truly threw away his pride and ran from the village.
Niv gladly accepted the deal.
And so it was set. I don’t know the exact number, but I heard his fine would give my old debts a fierce rival. However, I didn’t have to take the money away from him or even return to managing our funds myself. Niv would set aside some of his earnings for food, and put the rest towards paying his fine. He would take the payments to Tzofiya himself, informing me of the exact numbers without request, as if to show how serious he was about this.
Hed still held animosity towards his fellow apprentice, but they continued to live and work together, if only with less conversation. I’m sure that even that will change in time, so long as Niv doesn’t run away again. Even if they were near polar opposites, they had their own chemistry, one that just needed space for now.
As for me, there was actually very little difference in how Niv assisted me now and how he had before. He was still practically my secretary, the only real change being that he had to help me walk at times. Once my leg was healed more and I could return to my mountain, things might get a little more complicated. I could probably use the pulleys just fine, but I had to wonder if Niv would have to carry me up and down the cliff.
Well, he did just prove he had a strong back…
With that last bit of business settled, life in our studio was finally on its path back to normalcy. Even if things were awkward now, that didn’t mean we couldn’t return to our old camaraderie eventually.
We were family after all.
“So, Master,” said Hed, “what do you plan to do today, besides sit on your ass?”
“I was thinking about just having a nice day, but then I remembered you were here,” I replied. “Nothing, to be honest. I can’t do much.”
“Can you drink?”
“Sure, but I ran out of booze. And I can’t exactly get to the bar on my own.”
“I can take you there. You’re pretty dense, but you don’t look that heavy.”
“I’m not sure I can trust your strength. I doubt your Mama would forgive me if you broke your back carrying me.”
“Well, I am pretty Hed-strong.”
“Master Lior,” interjected Niv, “I apologize, but the shaman advised that you refrain from excessive drinking for the time being. Too much alcohol may impede the healing process and create complications by interacting with some of the medicines in your system. I highly recommend you abstain from unnecessary drinking until you are told otherwise.”
“And Hed, you stink when you get drunk,” Libi added.
“I do not!”
“Look, take it from me,” I said like a wise master. “Anybody will reek after a good night at the bar. And there’s no point trying to hide it from your missus, Hed.”
“She ain’t my ‘missus’, you hobbling layabout!”
“Right. Not yet.”
“Nrgh…”
He couldn’t muster a reply. He didn’t want to confirm it and embarrass himself, but he couldn’t deny it and make Libi cry again. Especially since my words put stars in those innocent eyes of hers. He simply shot me a red-faced glare, receiving a smirk in return.
From there, our studio descended into its old atmosphere. Wisecracks and silly arguments, earnest lessons and mundane discussion. The wonderful music I loved to hear, a melody born from our time spent alongside one another.
This was how things should be. My apprentices, my family, all of us together. I wouldn’t have wanted it any other way.
When the sun began to set and my apprentices went back to their respective homes, I grabbed my crutches and limped my way into the bedroom. It felt emptier without Tornara’s painting, but I was working to remedy that. I already had a set of shelves for displaying new art, taking inspiration from Libi’s room.
I only had two pieces right now. On the top shelf was my unfinished sculpture of Tornara, the one that I had used to stop Asa. I wasn’t sure if I would finish it now, even after my hand healed. Something about it felt like it should stay as it was, like it had enough expression in its current state. I did wipe the blood off at least.
On the shelf just below it sat Libi’s gift to me. Her distorted version of Tornara with the oversized hair and obscenely cute eyes. It was the first in a collection of works from my apprentices. It would be easy to get one from Niv, but Hed would probably make me pay for one of his. Maybe I’d ask Libi to get it for me.
I laid down on my bed and stared at the ceiling. It was terribly unfulfilling to end my day without accomplishing anything, but there was little I could do to help that. I had never broken a bone before, so I could only hope they healed quickly. I longed to hold tools in my hands and get back to my mountain.
Because now, more than ever, I needed to show Tornara how much I loved her.
“It really is a shame about your painting. It was a really good piece of art. Of course, you know more than anyone how much I loved looking at it. I don’t mind losing the book, but the painting… Oh well, I guess I can live with it. It’s not like I’d ever forget your beauty, anyways.”
Even now, I could just close my eyes to see Tornara’s loving smile. I grinned in turn.
“I can’t thank you enough, my beloved Goddess. You kept us all safe through the incident. I knew you would protect us, but it’s beyond wonderful to have seen it happen. Because of you, I can continue to run my studio. I’m just so happy nobody had to die. My precious Tornara, thank you, from the bottom of my heart.”
I took in a breath, letting out a deeply contented sigh.
“And don’t worry, I’ll keep my promise to you. I’ll still finish the mountainside, even if my leg really is crippled. Maybe Niv will have to help me or something, but it will happen. I want the world to know how much you mean to me. I want them to see how great of a Goddess you are. We’ll create a new legacy for you, one that starts with the expression of my love for you. And we’ll make sure people understand that you, or any God for that matter, wants only the best for your followers. I’ll do everything I can to make sure history doesn’t repeat itself.
“I love you so much, Tornara. I look forward to when we meet again.”
I stayed there for a few minutes more, getting lost in my thoughts. Eventually, my stomach began to growl, so I slowly raised myself back onto my crutches and shuffled into the studio to get something to eat.
I wonder how the me of ten years ago would feel to see the man he would become. Would be proud? Disgusted? Perhaps even afraid? Would he still buy that painting, knowing the love and the pain it would bring him? Would he accept the supposed curse if it meant finding his reason to sculpt? Would he willingingly invest himself in what could have been nothing more than some stranger’s fantasy?
I can’t claim to know. I’m not him anymore.
But as for me, I’m glad I met Tornara. She led me to Chen, Master Malka, Tzofiya, and all of my apprentices. Through my beloved Goddess, I found my vision and purpose, and I was proud to share that passion with the world.
Even as I was condemned for being cursed, a friend taught me I was blessed. When I struggled to accept myself, a master showed me I was cherished. And after I had lost everything, a village gave me a new home.
I was proud to be the beloved sculptor of my dearest Tornara.
I looked around my studio. Half-finished works sat on the workbenches while tools were left hanging along the walls. The kiln was readied for the next day, keeping me warm as well.
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